She's legally a midget (4'9) and she has the eyebrows of a Sharpie-wielding Mexican, but she's actually pretty cute. I'd totally White Knight her w/ a trip to Legoland and then let her blow me on her Powerwheels Lambo.
Date: 06/26/14 |
Views: 339349 |
To the fatfuck in the XXL heathered sweatshorts that voluntarily GTFO'ed, presumably to masturbate furiously in the men's restroom, I applaud you. Had you not, this video would've been 68 seconds of Barney Gumble ass.
Date: 06/25/14 |
Views: 150525 |
3 minute compilation of various women exposing themselves to a grab-bag of minimum wage mopes, featuring more acts of human desperation than Pauly Shore's twitter feed on a Saturday night.
Date: 06/24/14 |
Views: 184612 |
You see that face? I know that face. It's the "fuck, i shouldn't have quit Dairy Queen" face. Yeah, no shit lady. A.) Oreo Blizzards are delicious. B.) your colon wouldn't have turned into Lex Luthor's Drop of Doom.
Date: 06/23/14 |
Views: 237629 |
At first I was like "wow, she's unconscious, she's totally gonna get raped". I was actually worried, up until the camerabro did me the disservice of zooming in on her genitals. 6 words: protective layer of atomic wet-fart.
Date: 06/22/14 |
Views: 196785 |
This is 7 years in the life of "Kim Kaoz
" - a Tijuana tranny born with manorexia, an unwanted penis, and a haircut fit for Cannibal Holocaust II. This is her journey. Her quest. For inner happiness and outer awesome tits.
Date: 06/20/14 |
Views: 229658 |
2005 -a forgotten era when McNuggets could be had for a buck & the director of The Matrix still had a penis. It's also the year that Amazon.com began selling dildos, so why the fuck is she riding a Conair Blowmaster 10?
Date: 06/18/14 |
Views: 160755 |
Holy fucking Mr. Bean. Not even a South Korean plastic surgeon could Ctrl+Alt+Del the Stallion from her face. Decent body though. I dub you "Fugliest Ho That I'd Still Go Down On". Run with that.
Date: 06/17/14 |
Views: 256234 |
No sound, but it's okay. Her frantic T-1000 sprint for cover says it all: my dad just saw my vagina! my dad just saw my vagina! FUCK... FONT DOOR IS LOCKED! my dad just saw my vagina! Classic.
Date: 06/16/14 |
Views: 221568 |
She honestly seems like a nice girl. The type that'd cook you artisanal spaghettios on your 1st date, or volunteer a blowjob when your Instagram photos get 0 likes. I want that. I really do. But 1.13 mark.. dear god.
Date: 06/12/14 |
Views: 261570 |
She's 6 months preggo and has an ass-2-waist ratio that'd make Kim Kardashian soil her Gucci g-string in jealousy. She's also in need of an orgasm. Badly. Skip to the .40 mark for sexual failure at it's finest.
Date: 06/10/14 |
Views: 339674 |
Teen suffering from Arby's of the puss-puss seeks out the finest medical advice zero dollars can afford: a TV studio that'll pay for a vagi-makeover in exchange for the right to televise your humiliation. SCORE.
Date: 06/09/14 |
Views: 225925 |
To my ever growing .04% female viewership: put on your monocle and pay the fuck attention. This is what a REAL woman looks like. Cock-crazy, high on life, sub-100 pounds and master of Crest Whitestrips.
Date: 06/07/14 |
Views: 233742 |
LIFE LESSON #517: if your name ends in Ching, Chang or Chong - keep your snatch in your skorts and stay the fuck off blackplanet.com. Snapchat friends are temporary. A war-torn anus is forever.
Date: 06/05/14 |
Views: 339424 |
Julie Knight has an extended FML moment after realizing ATM is kinda/sorta "fucking disgusting". Fortunately she's pro at handling her feelings like an adult. And by "adult" I mean raging cunt. Famous last words @ 1.35.
Date: 06/04/14 |
Views: 230180 |
The head of a Hitachi is shaped like a doorknob. READ: not something you stick up your asshole. But when you have Brazilian butt implants and a $11 spray-on tan, a prolapse isn't a concern. It's destiny.
Date: 06/02/14 |
Views: 145089 |
9/10 homosexual doctors would urge breast reduction. But a life of chronic back pain and boob-cheese don't concern this poor man's Christina Hendricks. Big titties = big bucks, and big bucks = a new retarded hair color.
Date: 06/01/14 |
Views: 217037 |
Choke her, slap her, sodomize her, lace her Tampax Pearl with liberal amounts of Dave's Gourmet Hurtin' Habanero Sauce. There's all sorts of fun ways to a dominate a woman. PROTIP: this isn't one of em.
Date: 05/31/14 |
Views: 167111 |
Hopelessly vapid stripper/escort tries her whore-hand at pornography, declaring herself 'a fan of rough sex
' - a tall-tale that gets promptly Mythbusted in throatfuck or die
fashion. The ending is priceless
. FULL VID HERE
Date: 05/28/14 |
Views: 400840 |
He's twice her age, sports a level 10 pedostache and drives a 93' Suzuki, Rapevan Edition. Most girls would fear for their lives. But her? The dripping wet twat speaks for itself: slosh slosh slosh slosh slosh slosh.
Date: 05/27/14 |
Views: 234919 |