This lady has a condition known as "fucking gullible". It's what happens when dad stops loving you before your 1st year of college, so you seek the refuge of alpha males that tenderize you like a $2.00 shank of London Broil. Manager's special.
Not since walking into an unlocked Red Lobster bathroom at closing time have I seen such disrespect for drug addicts. And just like the rest of the Internet watching, I am disgusted and have an unreasonable craving for buttered biscuits.
The setup is fake. Being hung like one of those fucking things from Attack on Titan is not. Someone better prepare the ice bath for Ava Dalush - It just might starve off some of the nerve damage her uterus is dealing with now. And forever.
There's two pleasures I simply will never get to enjoy in life. Both include using my genitals as a wrecking ball, but only one involves this impressive creature.
Imagine having a slab of meat so heavy u dedicate an entire Pornhub account to marketing it. Barnum & Bailey will be in touch. Right after the Discovery channel.
You can go ahead and brag about your 14 inches of lethal force all you want bruh. If you're not using it to turn all white vaginas into a bowl of Bob Evans Mashed Potatoes, it's about as useful as a hot shower is to this mentally stable female.
Consider the waistline of this overgrown toddler the rights of passage for any girl born below the equator. If you haven't been viciously attacked by Jordi's pork shoulder, then u can never label yourself as making it. sry, I don't make the rules.
What weighs 47lbs and gets demolished by African Americans on a weekly basis? If you answered Popeye's Family Feast meal, you're only getting partial credit.
Seems straight-forward to me: Her vageen has the width of printer paper & he's hung like the Houston Rocket's starting lineup. Uncertainty should be expected.
How/Why semi-concious females go on the hunt for ding dongs that can literally rearrange their organs is beyond my knowledge. Clearly Arya Fae's parents didn't raise no bitch. Now... call Shaquille o'Neal and lets finish this snuff film right.
[tip: look in the second row for link] Kinda counterproductive to be hung like a zoo animal, yet never able to find a girl that can handle 50% of your moose leg. Perhaps it's that time to trade Tinder for farmersonly.com?
How many times have I said "mother of fuckin' AC Fucking Slater, this dude's custard cannon weighs more than her entire body" ? Sixty four. How many times did I actually mean it in the literal sense? Zero. UNTIL NOW.
This is ridiculous. Not lol-ridiculous like a chunk of society identifying as non-binary lesbian attack helicopters. She has zero reaction to being gutted like a sturgeon, and I keep waiting for David Attenborough's explanation.
Who? Alina West. The only pornstar I remember by name. Why? Cute, low-maintenance, & if you uppercut her cervix just right, she develops a speech impediment like Stan's twat of a sister on South Park. #FAPGASM.
A democratic acquaintance at Chipotle has long told me African American men and white cops simply don't get along. After seeing Tyrone Kobe Jermaine Javarie get bullied into BBW twat, I understand why.
I've never seen this chick cave before, no matter how big the cock. It's as if her vaginal canal is made of Teflon, with more square footage than James Van Deer Beek's forehead. But after seeing this, I'm not so sure.
Who the fuck did evolution have in mind when it gifted this vagrant the dimensions of a pool cue? I don't know, but it probably needs more than 3-pack of Colt 45 and beagle ears for tits to take him on @ full power.
Every good movie deserves a sequel, and many moons ago we discovered a girl that has less tolerance for raw beef products than a level 5 vegan. Probably all an act, but the hole-to-hole acrobatics is worth the followup.
Pegleg McGreggor is packing enough meat to start a slaughterhouse. Naturally his first course of action is to find the nearest Asian female and attempt snicker bar seppuku. Me thinks he was responsible for this as well.
3:00AM cuckolding session goes from good idea to I think I need a gynecologist as Darius Williams the 3rd repeatedly bulldozes Becky's reproductive system. Award-winning cries of fear @ 1:30, 7:16 and 16:55.
Rocco and his token black friend totally put this girl through the ringer, by the end she looks like she endured a cock tsunami. There's nothing like enjoying a nice day by the lake, just hanging out with friends getting some sun and some sucky-fucky.
Kennedy Kressler - the only "pornstar" whose name I've ever actually bothered to remember. Why? because she's 18, anorexic and has the face of Sabrina the Teenage Witch, minus the googly eye. Marry me.
