Prostitution is pretty straight forward. Browse CL's services section and let the expletives fly. Unless you're a 300 pounder that idolizes John Madden and is shaped like Despicable Me. Then it gets a little weird.
It's that time of year again. When the sounds of regret coming out of all orifices at once still can't drown out some rimjob who considers the accordion a pivotal musical instrument. It's not exactly easy on the liver...
Bruno gets a reality check after a housewife jumps the gun, and yanks his towel off before maximum stiffness is achieved. He deals with humiliation the same way I deal with Mongolian food: legs crossed, anus puckered.
Everybody is born with a gift. Unfortunately theirs is about as useful as Bruce Jenner's vagina. Sure, they can trace the history of the gluteus maximus via one touch, but will that really help greet us at Walmart?
Dare to browse grandpa's pre-VHS war chest of adult videos and this is the gold you'll strike. An era of pr0n where incest was not only encouraged, but calling your daughter a twat was considered "foreplay". Hilarious.
It was bound to happen. A third world sphincterwagon spent so much time on Pornhub he thought those pickup vids were real. So out he goes, boner in hand looking for grade D vagina. The result? Oh... you'll see.
Tits like a 2x4, anal has a 30 sec time limit and facials send her running. If there's an instructional video out there on what not to do during your first porn scene, I'd recon this derp just paved the way for a sequel.
She's got the dick suckin experience of a 40-year-old virgin and a complete lack of tolerance to boot. But when you've only got $13 and the glory hole is closed for repairs, performance isn't exactly a deal breaker.
Self-entitled college mid-carder finds her braless flapjacks on a website and has a shitfit. By the 2nd threat of litigation I had already forgotten what flavor of IHOP syrup I'd cover those punching bags with.
Pair of goobers hit the streets to shoot their first porn. Everything's going swimmingly until they get confronted by the Chewbecca of female genitalia. I mean literally 1 utility belt away from guest starring in Episode VII.
Sticking your dick into crazy girls without any consequences is about as probable as an Ebola outbreak in Beverly Hills... but I do admire her bravery. What do you think? Hit it, or hit it with a golf club?
My 5 years of porno wisdom tell me this video is probablly fake, just like that popular porn blooper of the cameraman getting accidentally splooged on. Pretty solid acting on Steve Urkel's part though.
Dirty bitch with a bangin body slips her hand down the back of her pants to relieve an itchy browneye. Okay mission accomplished. But then what does she do? Smells her fucking fingers. Wifey material for sure.