As fate would have it, handing out rusty tugboats to guys that consider bratwurst one of the elite food groups, isn't the high profile, second source of income she originally thought it out to be. Live, learn & sanitize, BECKY.
[tip: scroll to bottom of page for link] You know that thin piece of skin that separates the inside of a vagina from the rusty turntable? Well, her two costars just accidentally thrusted straight fucking through it. #diapers4life
Sneed's Feed and Seed houses 30 cows & more chickens than a French battalion. READ: Not a place to test your vaginal limits. But when you have 900 Patreons & a full bottle of penicillin, capacity isnt a concern. Its destiny.
Another incident where some introductory pornstar is left with a smoking O-ring because she failed to follow the #1 rule of dancing the B-hole Boogaloo: "Grease Keeps the Peace" member that, & you'll always be 'aight.
Refreshing to see tourism is still booming for our brothers below the equator. Now lets go ahead and get these gentleman under contract for the Ghostbusters reboot. I'm seeing 103 inches of Oscar winners here.
Gut instinct tells me that thing is about as real as Papa John's promise to not give you diarrhea. The penis large enough to need it's own pair of Air Jordans may be bogus, but the guy being virtually cucked by it isn't HAHA
Is it real? Is it fake? Nobody ever truly knows in the land of communist coochi. Not only that, but expect your curiosity in traditional wallpaper to be tripled at a minimum before this one is over. Today is a learning day.
LIFE LESSON #274: If your tolerance is weaker than Betty White's rectal control, stay the fuck away from the masturbatory demands of 4,000+ strangers. Last time I saw this many tears, I had to pay the hooker double.
5 pour souls that will never experience the sweet kiss of a double Baconator ever again. If you're the type of guy that can appreciate karma , this is the link for you. More of a humanitarian? Don't worry, I gotchu covered too.
So, what's the explanation this time? Normally guys that look like the result of crossbreeding the cast of Napoleon Dynamite with a cantaloupe are incapable of securing cooter of this quality. I'm open to suggestions. [more]
Well, shit lady I still got some life left in my signature edition Tom Sizemore MMA gloves if this is what ur into. I'd book 3 rounds right now, but I'm not sure you'd feel about traveling by car and not autonomous cuntmobile.
It's always the same setup. Your side piece finally agrees to lube the rusty wagon wheel , but "only if I git drunky first". Listen you cockamamie hoes: Bacardi + Buttlove don't mix. These bitches couldn't even stay vertical lol
A phat ass can make up for anything: bad skin, pubic lice, the initial stages of Chlamydia. But THIS vagrant? She's got booty meat like Tom Cruise has regressive Aspergers and I don't know exactly where to cram my quarters.
Not since paying backpage.com's finest in pennies have you seen a sexual arrangement become such a challenge. A hooker with a 'no tits no blowjob' policy? Congratulations on being more useless than a chocolate teapot.
I've seen this configuration before: Cute Whole Foods cashier above the waist, John Deer lawn aerator below it. I'd contact my local feminist chapter for false advertising, but I've already filled my tube sock & it's time for bed.
Frontal lobe ruthlessly attacked at the hands of a guy that considers Home Depot's hardware dpt EROTIC. No, this isn't my review for the newest ISIS video. It's the Citizen Kane of tardgasms, and you need to see it to the end.
A coworker at Little Caesars once told me she used the side of a Redbull can to pleasure herself. She said the feeling of her deep-dish pizza bowl being grinded made her cum instantaneously. Is that what's going on here?
Not since the days of blindly acquiring porn ala 5600 baud Limewire have I come across a female with such seminal fortitude. She's got standards brah. Know who doesn't have standards? THIS WIND TUNNEL. #sendhelp
Are you seeing that body language? I know that body language. Roughly translated it means: if you pull out again, I'll park my Kia Soul in your asshole next time you fall asleep. Go ahead, ask me. Ask me how I know.