The infamous one and only video of Megan Madsen. An over-privileged LAFS film student that for some reason decided to do a single porn flick 'for fun'... only to end up borderline autistic after an onslaught of climaxes.
The younger the college girl, the further they have to go for attention. A simple concept officially reinfoced thanks to this 97lbs of solid skankarooni. I'll put it plainly: watching this forced me to get vaccinated, it's that trashy.
Contrary to appearance, she didn't beat herself to death with a Dashboard Confessional CD after this wound up online. But her usefulness is spent faster than a black man's paycheck at Footlocker so... fap with +5 to agility.
Sadie Pop You can go ahead and just consider this neurotic little twat the Meryl Streep of fake incest porn. She method acts, has a room temperature IQ and is just hoping to get the next Academy Award for muffin stuffin.
Schizoid games a Tinder.com soft-6 with an afternoon of bumper cars and Red Lobster... only to slip a couple of Oxycontin in her Admiral's Feast. The end result? 100% unadulterated, unfiltered autism around the 9:30 mark.
If pornography has taught me anything, it's middle-aged women genuinely love genitalia that is commonly mistaken for mining equipment. Except this one. Clearly we're dealing with a special kind of snowflake feminist here.
Mayli/Amelia Wang: Daughter of Vice President of Goldmann Sachs. Rich, classical pianist, an artist. Then bitch does a life-ruining facial abuse scene for $200 just to stick it to daddy. Made me understand women a lot better.
Two things I refuse to do: 1) Sign for packages with the word "CONGO" on them. and 2) Bullshit my users. That said, this video is pretty basic... but the girl is H-O-T, and her abs are harder than my dick in a Serbian whorehouse.
How/Why concious females go on the hunt for cocks that can literally rearrange their organs is beyond my knowledge. Clearly Arya Fae's parents didn't raise no bitch. Now call Shaquille o'Neal and finish this snuff film.
Incestual Behavior: A practice commonly reserved for degenerate parents that want a hobby in between cashing disability checks and watching the Roseanne reboot. The daughters are always beat. Meet the sole exception.
[tip: look in the third row for link] Creepy fuck sets up shop in an air duct just to get a peek at a random cooter as she unloads some Mountain Dew. Unfortunately he makes too much noise & scares the utter shit out of her.
Lookout world, she has no limits. She also has a group of friends that lost their virginitys to a series of mail-order body pillows. Keep these 2 details in mind - it's the closest clue you're gonna get as to y the fuck this was filmed.
The downside of adopting an all-kale diet? Every uterus in a 500 mile radius is using your ass to springboard her next Instagram post to buzzfeed's front page. And don't even get me started on the leaking bowel syndrome...
The most erotic thing I've seen since the time my 19 y/o housekeeper cried 'no es bueno' after happening upon my unflushed shitter. Day before was Olive Garden night, fuckin Tour Of Italy. To quote Lil Wayne - I made it rain.
This is called "caught lying on your resume". It happens when soybois try to larp their way into a fantasy that exiled them faster than a steakhouse. So they load up on gluten-free macchiatos and find themselves here. Hilarious.
Funny how the loser of this fight is upset about the opponent 'wearing her shit'. I'd be more concerned that the commando MMA match I just had dirtied the cooch worse than a 2-night stay in a Bangladeshi bathhouse.
Tired of beating off to the same old ASMR fantasy videos, and want the next best thing? How about a sexually-inept Nigerian that looks more helpless than DJ Khaled in front of 5,000 vegetarians? you played yaself.
Now if only he put as much effort into his apprenticeship as he did into literally ruining his entire life, maybe this repulsive fuck would've thought twice about using a camera with the pixel output of a yukon potato. #gross
Ever seen a woman with the body of a college girl, and the face of customer service at Pep Boys, but still nutted a week's worth of hamburger helper into your favorite tube sock because you're trying new things? Me neither.