Modern society can't walk more than 6 feet without tearing the phone out, and frantically telling the population how different they are from it. It's a srs disorder, and let me tell you: identifying as a toilet is as good as it gets folks.
Did flashing interns at the local 7-11 becoming a challenge or something? Apparently this winner prefers cleaning ladies. Specifically the types that have to bleachthe shit stains out of Walmart porcelain. C - L - A - S - S - Y
Don't let that lack of muscle tone fool you: She's a protein assassin. We all have a calling in life... and after skull-fucking the basic multiplication skills out of herself, I think we all know what her future holds. » networking.
Three years of forcing porn producers to scotch guard everything in a 2-mile radius was no problemo. But ~60 secs of churning butt butter? GAME OVER. Ladies and gents: I present to you the enigma of Asian scrag hags.
This chumpo prefers his women to be on the defensive, specifically ones that have the best set of knockers I've seen this side of Walmart's customer service line. I promise, its the greatest ICP-fan sex tape you'll fap to today.
How many times have I said "mother of fuckin' AC Fucking Slater, this dude's custard cannon weighs more than her entire body" ? Sixty four. How many times did I actually mean it in the literal sense? Zero. UNTIL NOW.
This guy might as well be the Conor McGregor of butthole dysfunction, and today he's teaching Relationships 101. Adopt his patented "Oklahoma whiff n' dip", and I promise, ur lady will never think about crying misogyny again.
Kenzie Reeves. aka porn's newest 78 pound answer to the most important question of 2017: "how far can we go with incestuous storylines?" A sexual Joanna Lannister if you will. More ridiculous facial expressions HERE.
As if whoring his girlfriend out to multiplestrangers on Tinder isn't bad enough, this roody poo cuckaboo discovers a new way to bloom in the garden of STD's. Except this time, they're actually out of their element, lol.
Most erections flat line after being denied so aggressively, maybe translate into a domestic violence case or 3. Not this guy. He refuses to take no for an answer, and the result is more physical therapy than physical attraction.
My gut instinct tells me this guy's basement being free of dead bodies is almost as probable as Kanye West becoming president in 2020... but I do find his no-filter approach to breaking the ice compelling. Your thoughts?
Great taste in women, poor taste in location. Two words homie: Chipotle Bathroom. At least in there indeterminable body fluids are a common sight, and it doesn't ruin the ending of Moby Dick you abhorrent, free-balling fuck.
I like how the girl at the end does some Power Ranger hand movements on his dick, keeping things professional and massage-like, rather than giving him a straight up stroke job. In her mind, she's only half a whore. Adorable.
Riley Reyes. Maybe you've heard of her? She has a strict "no escorting cuz dats degrading" policy, but turning her anus into Pablo Picasso is a-okay. Imagine combining Iggy Azalea's waistline with Tumblr. This is the result.
Props to guy laying pipe. I haven't heard a teenager whine that ambiguously since that time I was caught defecating in the Blockbuster drop-box in protest to late fees on my rental of Johnny Mnemonic. FULL SCENE HERE
Don't let the heart-shaped buttplug fool you. This girl has zero love for strangers and their upholstery. Such as illustrated after she downtowns her charlie brown... which the driver somehow is totally unaware of. Hilarious.
Bitch looks like she shouldn't be messing with guys hung longer than a chinchilla. Most folks with such handicaps shy away from the limelight... but not this skeletor, she loves to socialize. More bone on boner videos HERE.
Some girls need girth to get off. Others, a $50 shopping spree at Sephora. And then there's Veronica Veganpuss, who takes no less than two semen satchels to reach her o-face. That's a fucking deal breaker for sure.
'memember HIM? Looks like he's back for round 2. Not sure why he longs for the approval of random black chicks. His dick is a drizzle compared to the tsunamis these bitches are addicted to. Time for a new hobby, Bernard.
This is classic. She literally goes from chowing down her own buttmud like a malnourished Nigerian, to straight up protesting a facial. Apparently the Woodman School of Rectology isn't as diverse as originally thought, HAHA.
Sleazy Blonde gets injected with enough farm-fresh penis pudding to short circuit Bill Cosby. Followed by a shit-eating grin across her face. Some seriously thrilling ways to lose your Fruit Loops in this one folks. Promise.
Want proof that humans are all about charity? Look no further friendo. This charitable fuck offers a nervous local the ultimate handout - a free play on his wife's arcade box. It's generosity like this that really warms my heart.