ah, the old "nudist woman gives me her pussy on a public beach!" trick. A classic move, but one that needs more practice if it's going to give Limpin Larry enough motivation to erect the other half of his penis for her. #cialis bud. Look into it.
A 19 min adventure with a woman that doesn't believe the night is over until her junior mint has been turned inside out. The odor in that room must be diabolical.
It may not be written in the rule book, but there's only one translation for the body language on the girl going Milli Vanilli on herself. And it lives somewhere in between "i need to pay taxes" & "the cowboys choked". Three of life's guarantees.
Imagine spending weeks convincing your corner store Karen to accept the 2vs1 handicap match, only to sideline her with a cock that gets cease and desist letters from Nike. Just flip that thing over & hit it with a snowmobile again, you'll be aite.
A comped hotel room in Vegas, and enough meat to keep the free buffet going for a week. I've done the math and have concluded: this could only end one way.
Took a minute to realize what the fuck was going on with surfer bro's left leg. The full black garter belt ink job is a bold move, and one that clearly paid off cus he's wreckin 4.5 inches of her guts & ur not. Neapolitan ice cream lookin ass tan lmao
Everyone else talking about USD collapse and unable to afford housing, while I'm just waiting for girls to start doin this in Chipotle parking lots again. #oldfashioned
Sorry, but I'm not about to believe headlines from a website that unironically posts the full version of Lady of The Rings. The Tolkien disrespect is heinous.
Nope. Not even giving the participation trophy to the self-sustaining personal human centipede butthole hydration conveyor belt device being demonstrated at the 2:30 mark. It may have made the cut for this compilation... but at what cost?
Everything about that statement is true, except the "oops" part. Something tells me 'ole carrot top here has sabotaged these sweatshop dick ponchos before...
Stewart's contribution to black history month takes an immediate nose dive when he realizes not all fetishes are built the same, and going into this battle unarmed wasn't exactly the hypebeast move he originally thought it was haha. [source]
The only thing more concerning than the Party City cake decorations is the way this screwball is talking during this entire thing. Is homie narrating his own adventure or? Now that I think about it, this behavior has always been habitual.
It's either a Julliard student's magnum opus in creative expression of the female body... or any San Fransisco night club on a Wednesday afternoon. It's hard to tell when everyone is smoking the same jenkem... but one thing is for sure: AIDS.
This was definitely created before the boom of lobotomized TikTok actors made Steven Segal look like an Oscar contender. Respect for being visionaries I guess?
Some people invest into their 401-K plans to insure a healthy retirement. Others, work until the grave. And then there's this marble garglin sonuvabitch who is going to burn every cent in the name of B tier semi-pornstar vaginal exploration.
Apartment looks to be about 250 sqft. In New York City that's probably gonna run you $4,000 a month without utilities. The aggression is honestly understandable.
Cute face. Nice body. It's the Harry and the Henderson's pit job where u lose me and/or my boner. To each their own, but I personally prefer my sexual fantasies to have as little to do with Discovery Channel's: Man vs. Tribe as possible.
