Okay I lied. It's not a torturegasm, nor is this as 'public' as they want you to think it is. Good thing she's dressed like Shakespeare in the fuckin' Park cause this is going to be my most fridge boner of the day. I guarantee it.
Josefina cut corners trying to emulate her hero. Turns out the $25 special at an Islamic plastic surgeon isn't the high ticket item originally thought. Now she's gotta live the rest of her life looking like Tim Burton's asshole LOL
Self-proclaimed Fap Ninja adds another accolade to her resume, in the form of Nicholas Cage's School of Acting graduate. An unfortunately accurate title you'll agree with when you question your purpose in life around 18:00.
Not since the days of blindly acquiring porn ala 5600 baud Limewire have I come across a female with such seminal fortitude. She's got standards brah. Know who doesn't have standards? THIS WIND TUNNEL. #sendhelp
Another game-changing, chromosome-challenging, boner-flatlining, stereotype-enforcing performance by the one and only woman of a thousand emotions Lucie Wilde. One day the ACLU will put a stop to this.
Refreshing to see tourism is still booming for our brothers below the equator. Now lets go ahead and get these gentleman under contract for the Ghostbusters reboot. I'm seeing 103 inches of Oscar winners here.
Face of a virgin & knows her way around a Baby Gap. Rarely do I admit this, but she's 1 hymen break away from being worthy of an Ecto Cooler 6-pack on my dime. Sadly, 3.4 inches of solid mass just don't do it for her.
Before today there were two things I was totally certain of. 1) Florida is the unwashed crotch of the US of A. And 2) $37 doesn't get you anywhere in Buenos Aires. He proved me wrong once, but there will be no duplication.
Some 'feels' I am glad I'll never experience: Child birth, menstrual cramps, bamboo fingernail torture & an unwelcomed penis randomly kicking open the door to the house of pain. FULL VERSIONS HERE - 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Spanked, groped & forced to eat bargain bin pizza toppings. If it wasn't for the pity squeeze, I'd wager this was gonna go from lolniceboner.mp4 to Last Known Video of Becky Stankalottapuss Alive pretty damn fast.
...to stop using the grocery store's dental aisle to reach her O-face. Shit lady, ever heard of Amazon? We'll go ahead donate the full $585.00 just to see you go 1 on 1 with this WOMB WRECKER and leave Colgate out of this war.
This is harder to see than Bill Cosby after a martini. So you need to pay attention... and if you figure out why a female decided the Volcano Bay indoor waterpark shithouse was the place to do this, holla atchya boi.