[tip: look in the second row for link] Kinda counterproductive to be hung like a zoo animal, yet never able to find a girl that can handle 50% of your moose leg. Perhaps it's that time to trade Tinder for farmersonly.com?
The downside of adopting an all-kale diet? Every uterus in a 500 mile radius is using your ass to springboard her next Instagram post to buzzfeed's front page. And don't even get me started on the leaking bowel syndrome...
It's always the same setup. Your side piece finally agrees to lube the rusty wagon wheel , but "only if I git drunky first". Listen you cockamamie hoes: Bacardi + Buttlove don't mix. These bitches couldn't even stay vertical lol
Just skip to the 7:25 mark and pay close to attention to the artifacts of yestercock. Calling him BETA MALE OF THE CENTURY is the compliment of a lifetime. To all dairy connoisseurs of Inhumanity: You have been warned.
So, what's the explanation this time? Normally guys that look like the result of crossbreeding the cast of Napoleon Dynamite with a cantaloupe are incapable of securing cooter of this quality. I'm open to suggestions. [more]
Are you seeing that body language? I know that body language. Roughly translated it means: if you pull out again, I'll park my Kia Soul in your asshole next time you fall asleep. Go ahead, ask me. Ask me how I know.
...to stop using the grocery store's dental aisle to reach her O-face. Shit lady, ever heard of Amazon? We'll go ahead donate the full $585.00 just to see you go 1 on 1 with this WOMB WRECKER and leave Colgate out of this war.
As fate would have it, handing out rusty tugboats to guys that consider bratwurst one of the elite food groups, isn't the high profile, second source of income she originally thought it out to be. Live, learn & sanitize, BECKY.
Is it real? Is it fake? Nobody ever truly knows in the land of communist coochi. Not only that, but expect your curiosity in traditional wallpaper to be tripled at a minimum before this one is over. Today is a learning day.
Not since the days of blindly acquiring porn ala 5600 baud Limewire have I come across a female with such seminal fortitude. She's got standards brah. Know who doesn't have standards? THIS WIND TUNNEL. #sendhelp
A phat ass can make up for anything: bad skin, pubic lice, the initial stages of Chlamydia. But THIS vagrant? She's got booty meat like Tom Cruise has regressive Aspergers and I don't know exactly where to cram my quarters.
Margery & her genetics have some fucking explaining to do. Personally, I think she should find a way to increase size by at least 30%. Right around Triple-K cups is when those disability benefits should start kicking in. #$$$
Two things I refuse to do: 1) Sign for packages with the word "CONGO" on them. and 2) Bullshit my users. That said, this video is pretty basic... but the girl is H-O-T, and her abs are harder than my dick in a Serbian whorehouse.
Pay close attention, and you'll notice these are paid pornstars blending in with real university students. HINT: 2 seconds of labia flashing sending Carlos Garcia and Co. off the fucking deep end kinda gives it away.
Degenerate hoebag works feverishly to get sexually assaulted by a guy with more V's in his name than a Russian dictionary... and doesn't come close to succeeding. Enjoy your 0-star YELP review Victor Vahdeem Vyachvyeslahv!
This is bad. More bad than the time I emptied $27 worth of Wendy's value meals into the plastic case of Ninja Turtles III: The Manhattan Project for NES and slipped it in a Blockbuster drop-box. Wait no, that was priceless.
Now if only he put as much effort into his apprenticeship as he did into literally ruining his entire life, maybe this repulsive fuck would've thought twice about using a camera with the pixel output of a yukon potato. #gross
Incestual Behavior: A practice commonly reserved for degenerate parents that want a hobby in between cashing disability checks and watching the Roseanne reboot. The daughters are always beat. Meet the sole exception.