When all your knowledge of sexual intercourse comes from Shake Weight infomercials, this is the result. Also: We may have just uncovered a skill so damn useless, even California colleges won't offer a degree for it.
This girl's affinity for i licked my brother's taint porn is off the charts. She's been in more lead roles of bullshit refuse to jack off to than Jason Statham. Most likely a symptom of having a BF that fits in her finest Walmart lingerie.
This is called "caught lying on your resume". It happens when soybois try to larp their way into a fantasy that exiled them faster than a steakhouse. So they load up on gluten-free macchiatos and find themselves here. Hilarious.
Schizoid games a Tinder.com soft-6 with an afternoon of bumper cars and Red Lobster... only to slip a couple of Oxycontin in her Admiral's Feast. The end result? 100% unadulterated, unfiltered autism around the 9:30 mark.
To say she's "in over her head this time" would be a bit of an understatement. Becky can't even get horizontal for more than 18 seconds before homeboy has her clitoris begging for mercy like me halfway into Venom last night.
It's a shame they didn't take this a step further and use their natural resistance to pain and turn her crusty doughnut into a cut of roast beef the diameter of a Mazda Miatia. Then maybe I could have ejaculated today...
Swinging: A behavior generally reserved for degenerate adults that need something to do in between collecting food stamps and using Redbox. The girl are always a mess. Proof: Skeletor's deflated balloon knot @ 8:11 mark.
I guess having sex isn't considered "challenging" when someone has the alcohol tolerance of a vienna sausage. Lesson learned: Never try to impress a girl that's probably used the neighbor's cat as toilet paper. #germany
Unwritten rules of the practicing date rapist: #1 Lack of hygiene, #2 Look as much like George Lopez as possible and #3 Outdoing WWE's last PPV n both precision and dynamic move sets. Looks like this scumquat is 3 for 3.
Increasingly disturbing fetish keeps picks up more steam, but this time the female is a total swipe-right. Her snargleburger gets more attention than a Worldcup overtime game & all I can do is wonder why. New Jersey's finest.
8 seconds of watching this tells me this is about as common for her as it is for sound cloud rappers to have "lil" on their birth certificates... but I do find her enthusiasm extraordinary. Fetch my White Lion loin cloth, I wish to masturbate.
LIFE LESSON #387: If your name ends in Gomez, Garcia or Gonzales - stay the fuck away from Craigslist ads with the words interesting trades in them. The 50 pesos are temporary. A disfigured esophagus is forever, BROTHER.
18 & doesn't know what an orgasm is. But here, all that matters is the size of your imagination... and truthfully speaking, dude got a fat one. Emphasis on proportions. That clit looks like a deflated water balloon glued to straw...
Downside of being 36 & still livin at home? Besides the 8AM line for toaster strudels, every time u wanna expand your sex life, you gotta come up with degenerate fuckery like this that gets exposed mid-Thanksgiving dinner.
Sadie Pop You can go ahead and just consider this neurotic little twat the Meryl Streep of fake incest porn. She method acts, has a room temperature IQ and is just hoping to get the next Academy Award for muffin stuffin.
Not since the Olsen twin eating disorders have I seen such misuse of a white girl. The niche for being beaten unconscious is a limited one, but you better fucking believe it's gatekeeped by Odette Delacroix. More abnormal erections HERE
Firm titties? Vagina like a Redbox return slot? Identifies as a female more than 63% of the time? She already hit all 3 checkboxes on my wedding ring list. Step aside gentleman - me and the $11 left on this Chili's gift card will take it from here.