LIFE LESSON #274: If your tolerance is weaker than Betty White's rectal control, stay the fuck away from the masturbatory demands of 4,000+ strangers. Last time I saw this many tears, I had to pay the hooker double.
When you're moist enough to be lubed under water, and have more lung capacity than a Navy Seal - you should be recognized for your natural born gifts. Call Emma Stone & tell there's been a recount for that Oscar Award.
Schizoid games a Tinder.com soft-6 with an afternoon of bumper cars and Red Lobster... only to slip a couple of Oxycontin in her Admiral's Feast. The end result? 100% unadulterated, unfiltered autism around the 9:30 mark.
The ultimate collection (read: 20 images) of intoxicated and/or inebriated females soiling the utter fuck out of their clean images. Perhaps I'm alone on this one... but I'm seeing wife material across the board here.
Refreshing to see tourism is still booming for our brothers below the equator. Now lets go ahead and get these gentleman under contract for the Ghostbusters reboot. I'm seeing 103 inches of Oscar winners here.
This girl's affinity for i licked my brother's taint porn is off the charts. She's been in more lead roles of bullshit refuse to jack off to than Jason Statham. Most likely a symptom of having a BF that fits in her finest Walmart lingerie.
The one time that solid 5 on Tinder isn't catfishing you, she turns around and demands you do more abhorrent shit than an episode of The View. I'd continue this rant, but I have unfinished business with a bottle of Pert Plus.
I'm all for refusing to spend the extra $7.00 on a 3 pack of Magnums, but for real: if she doesn't start scouting better company eventually she'll end up on Maury Povich... and then it's "MISSION FAILED" a la Metal Gear Solid.
Antonio does in 1 minute what takes the customer service line at Walmart an entire afternoon to do: Completely crushes and eradicate a white girl's spirit. Don't get swindled by the thumbnail, you have not seen this version.
This might kill any train-running fantasies you have. But it will also peak ur curiosity as to how Danny Glover spends a Saturday night. It's what us Internet folk call a video that's perfectly balanced. As all things should be.
Ever seen a woman with the body of a college girl, and the face of customer service at Pep Boys, but still nutted a week's worth of hamburger helper into your favorite tube sock because you're trying new things? Me neither.
A request to 'ride it hard' by a guy that sounds like he knows the square footage of a Runescape map, fails to impress. PRO TIP: Next time hook a car battery to the sphincter. Its called The Berserker Twerker I invented it.
Not since paying backpage.com's finest in pennies have you seen a sexual arrangement become such a challenge. A hooker with a 'no tits no blowjob' policy? Congratulations on being more useless than a chocolate teapot.
Well, shit lady I still got some life left in my signature edition Tom Sizemore MMA gloves if this is what ur into. I'd book 3 rounds right now, but I'm not sure you'd feel about traveling by car and not autonomous cuntmobile.
Her hip-to-waist ratio is insane. But mother of fuckin' Iggy Pop... not even a Chinese plastic surgeon could Ctrl+Alt+Del the Stalone from that face. Impressive body tho.... I dub thee '#1 girl I'd be sodomized in the dark by