My gut instinct tells me the era of slasher movies is undoubtedly dead when the practical effects guys take jobs like this. Freddy vs. Jason was bad... but it wasn't turn my fucking torso into a 3' tall penis fly trap bad.
You know you're in the golden age of porn when someone hires Tom Savini for a scene. Too bad the novelty of a 3rd hole wears off pretty quick when it's got the height-to-width ratio of a paper shredder.
Everybody is born with a gift. Clearly his is having the Optimus Prime of genitalia. Watch in utter amazement as nothing more than a single-handed choke hold transforms his Oscar Mayer into a portobello mushroom.
She's pretty cute right up until her orgasm. Her face and noises kill the majestic boner she had created just seconds earlier. Also, don't worry, it's cool guys, they checked her identification card and we're free to fap.
My gut instinct tells me this is about as probable as a Lou Diamond Phillips film getting theatrical distribution... but I do find her nervous moans and heavy breathing compelling. What do you think?
Good call on the medical grade latex gloves. Those wheelchair-bound, mentally incapacitated boys are notorious for their legions of sexual partners. You just dodged herpes, AIDS, maybe even breast cancer.
and check them titties. Looks like 2 grapefruits topped with disproportionate amounts of Nickelodeon Gak. And to think... those funbags probably set her back 7k, or in whore economics - roughly 47 rimjobs. Jeepers.
This is wrong. More wrong than the time I defecated a weeks worth of BK value meals into the VHS case of Honey, I Shrunk The Kids and slipped it down a Blockbuster drop-box. Actually no, that was hilarious.
Damn, and I thought a Tara Reid had a fucked up pair. The English vocabulary lacks proper adjectives to describe these tits so I'll leave you with an anology: 20% Maggie Gyllenhaal, 80% dairy cow.
Chick gets gangbanged after being encased in a box of cement, with holes left for each orifice. Pretty sure that's fake as fuck but bonus points for the novel idea.
Dude gets his dick sucked by a big titted tarantula from outer space. This is the hottest shit I've seen all week. Beastiality porn FTW.
Drop by Arbys and order the Beef N' Cheddar. Proceed by removing the premium roast beef and passing it through your paper shredder. Retrieve all remnants and carefully mold em together. Bingo! You now have a 1:1 replica of this woman's vagina. Class dismissed.
That's about as bad as eating your own shit... except eating your own shit doesn't make you gay. Scat for the win.
Do yourself a favor and skip this one. Seriously. I hope his cock gets emphysema and rots off.
This is what happen when your only sexual companion is your pet. When you finally fuck a real woman you just can't handle it. Hmmm this actually explains the 'squeal like a pig' scene out of Deliverance. I'm on to something here.
Sorry, unfortunately her asshole is booked solid for the next 30 minutes... but her vagina on the other hand is currently availabe. Sir I must remind you this is quite a rarity, I suggest you go with the 2 for 1 special while it still lasts.
MY EYES! THE GOGGLES DO NOTHING!!!
This poor poor girl. If she pukes up everything she eats, then she's probably never felt the wonders of going poop. She must feel so deprived.
This is called "autolingus". There is a fetish for it but not a whole lot of content to back it up. One of these days I hope to change that, with the aid of a video camera and a Russian contortionist.