My gut instinct tells me the era of slasher movies is undoubtedly dead when the practical effects guys take jobs like this. Freddy vs. Jason was bad... but it wasn't turn my fucking torso into a 3' tall penis fly trap bad.
It's hard being a single mom, after the drug addicted father of her retarded son took off, she just doesn't have any time to herself. So when it comes to mommy getting her dick, she does it while keeping an eye on her little bundle of special.
Drop by Arbys and order the Beef N' Cheddar. Proceed by removing the premium roast beef and passing it through your paper shredder. Retrieve all remnants and carefully mold em together. Bingo! You now have a 1:1 replica of this woman's vagina. Class dismissed.
Sorry, unfortunately her asshole is booked solid for the next 30 minutes... but her vagina on the other hand is currently availabe. Sir I must remind you this is quite a rarity, I suggest you go with the 2 for 1 special while it still lasts.