Not since the Olsen twin eating disorders have I seen such misuse of a white girl. The niche for being beaten unconscious is a limited one, but you better fucking believe it's gatekeeped by Odette Delacroix. More abnormal erections HERE
Sociopaths play their Blue-Eyed White Domestic Abuse cards in attack mode. The end result? A record-setting 4 minute tutorial of what not to do when your Tinder match finally says yes to Chicken Nuggets & Chill.
Apparently a 2-pack of Bud Light turns you into the Gandolf of parking lot pussy pickups... and today his teachings are all free of charge. Practice what you see here & I promise those size-11 Craigslist girls will never "LOL" again.
She's no Scarlett Johansson. But what's lacking in popularity & genetics, she makes up for in... well, nothing. This chick is fucking useless. Those hams look like they were bolted on by an intern at LEGOLAND & I dont know why
Some guy that considers dollar store tattoos an art form bangs the shame out of the last girl that should be on his ding donger. After the 5th "look at the camera, it begins to feel more like Crazyshit vid than a Pornhub vid.
Short list of things I value in life: Cottonelle Ultra Comfort Care and inexperienced females, like this one in particular. Tack on the fact that she looks like pre-Civil War Pepper Pots and we're talking perfection here.
There's 2 things I try my best no to do: 1.) masturbate in Burger King's drive-thru. And 2.) bullshit my viewers. That said, this video is pretty basic. But hey - the genitals are youthful & the humiliation is non-existent. Good enough for me.
There's no better way to celebrate your final day of freedom than by cramming a bottle of Pepsi's finest in the tuna mitten of a $14.00 hooker. They went for an assisted goal, but she insisted max capacity was already reached. UH HUH...
The ultimate collection (read: 20 images) of intoxicated and/or inebriated females soiling the utter fuck out of their clean images. Perhaps I'm alone on this one... but I'm seeing wife material across the board here.
When you're moist enough to be lubed under water, and have more lung capacity than a Navy Seal - you should be recognized for your natural born gifts. Call Emma Stone & tell there's been a recount for that Oscar Award.
This girl's affinity for i licked my brother's taint porn is off the charts. She's been in more lead roles of bullshit refuse to jack off to than Jason Statham. Most likely a symptom of having a BF that fits in her finest Walmart lingerie.
This one is kind of hard to describe because without context it just comes off as another Kevin Spacey sex ritual. All I know is, I picked a really bad day to get nostalgic about Power Rangers. #only90skidswillunderstandthis
I'm all for refusing to spend the extra $7.00 on a 3 pack of Magnums, but for real: if she doesn't start scouting better company eventually she'll end up on Maury Povich... and then it's "MISSION FAILED" a la Metal Gear Solid.
damn son, check out the dimensions on him. You may have a confusing dream or 2 about being bludgeoned to death by it. Big emphasis on death. The graveyard would be a guarantee if you were to sword fight Captain Black Sparrow over here.
How to make ur $50 porn vid 100x better? Do a shot of her crinkled starfish before and after sinking the dirty submarine. That's what people really want to see. A sliding scale of damage that FEMA might have to be called in for.
There's a pretty thin line between 'i only date girls with alcohol addiction' and being sodomized by Uncle Touch-a-Taint. Where that line actually is... I don't know. But I can tell you for sure, Bing Bing over here just leaped it.