Well, shit lady I still got some life left in my signature edition Tom Sizemore MMA gloves if this is what ur into. I'd book 3 rounds right now, but I'm not sure you'd feel about traveling by car and not autonomous cuntmobile.
When your rusty bag is knee-level, and the age of medicare is on the horizon - maybe being labeled a sexual predator becomes the least of your problems? For everyone else: You probably shouldn't even attempt this.
Now if only he put as much effort into his apprenticeship as he did into literally ruining his entire life, maybe this repulsive fuck would've thought twice about using a camera with the pixel output of a yukon potato. #gross
As fate would have it, handing out rusty tugboats to guys that consider bratwurst one of the elite food groups, isn't the high profile, second source of income she originally thought it out to be. Live, learn & sanitize, BECKY.
I've seen this configuration before: Cute Whole Foods cashier above the waist, John Deer lawn aerator below it. I'd contact my local feminist chapter for false advertising, but I've already filled my tube sock & it's time for bed.
I can understand the incestual story arch. I'll look past the iPhone 3 camera quality. But the no-hesitation, double-dip taste-test of his own pearl jam at 7:22 mark? UNFUCKINGFORGIVABLE you incomplete, slovenly shit donut.
So, what's the explanation this time? Normally guys that look like the result of crossbreeding the cast of Napoleon Dynamite with a cantaloupe are incapable of securing cooter of this quality. I'm open to suggestions. [more]
Is it real? Is it fake? Nobody ever truly knows in the land of communist coochi. Not only that, but expect your curiosity in traditional wallpaper to be tripled at a minimum before this one is over. Today is a learning day.
Another incident where some introductory pornstar is left with a smoking O-ring because she failed to follow the #1 rule of dancing the B-hole Boogaloo: "Grease Keeps the Peace" member that, & you'll always be 'aight.
Sleaziest Blonde gets injected with enough farm-fresh penis pudding to short circuit Bill Cosby. Followed by a shit-eating grin across her face. Some seriously thrilling ways to lose your Fruit Loops in this one folks. I promise.
[tip: scroll to bottom of page for link] You know that thin piece of skin that separates the inside of a vagina from the rusty turntable? Well, her two costars just accidentally thrusted straight fucking through it. #diapers4life
LIFE LESSON #237: If someone uses the word negotiable in their Craigslist ad - move the fuck on to the next one or prepare to doomsday prep on Valtrex & Clorox bleach. Discounts are temporary. War-torn genitals arent.
Gut instinct tells me that thing is about as real as Papa John's promise to not give you diarrhea. The penis large enough to need it's own pair of Air Jordans may be bogus, but the guy being virtually cucked by it isn't HAHA
This is called "caught lying on your resume". It happens when soybois try to larp their way into a fantasy that exiled them faster than a steakhouse. So they load up on gluten-free macchiatos and find themselves here. Hilarious.
Degenerate hoebag works feverishly to get sexually assaulted by a guy with more V's in his name than a Russian dictionary... and doesn't come close to succeeding. Enjoy your 0-star YELP review Victor Vahdeem Vyachvyeslahv!
Frontal lobe ruthlessly attacked at the hands of a guy that considers Home Depot's hardware dpt EROTIC. No, this isn't my review for the newest ISIS video. It's the Citizen Kane of tardgasms, and you need to see it to the end.
[tip: look in the third row for link] Creepy fuck sets up shop in an air duct just to get a peek at a random cooter as she unloads some Mountain Dew. Unfortunately he makes too much noise & scares the utter shit out of her.
LIFE LESSON #274: If your tolerance is weaker than Betty White's rectal control, stay the fuck away from the masturbatory demands of 4,000+ strangers. Last time I saw this many tears, I had to pay the hooker double.