11 straight minutes of a girl who's more indecisive about what part of Martha Stewart's summer collection she gets fucked on, than I am about public urinal usage. Both scenarios are sure to leave you slightly itchy.
Everybody has a gift. His is convincing solid 7's to double up on his bald headed field mouse while simultaneously crossing sexual orientation lines. A beautiful moment before being dropkicked back to the strawberry fields.
Want indisputable proof that Americans are all about philanthropy? Look no further my skeptical friends. Our boy wheels gets the handout of a lifetime, effectively erecting all jealous boners in a quarter mile radius.
Don't know who to blame, but judging by her reaction it's safe to say this happens more often than Usher hands out STD's. Combine that with his mouth-breathing friends going apeshit & boner time is officially cancelled.
I can forgive the potato-grade video quality. I'll always understand the withholding of names. But cutting off the girl @ 1:10 before he ran off to use hummus as rectal lubricant? 0/10 you simple-minded, incredulous fuckwit.
2 rules: Don't touch the ink. And don't beat the shit out of her face. Talk about high standards. But this fire-eyed hose hog isn't fucking around . One costar decides to test her anyway, resulting in a brief but epic departure.
I'm really expecting this banana bimbo to have one of those corn beef gash vaginas... not an inconspicuous coin slot. Still hot I guess. Just scatter some corn seed around the room before intercourse and she'll feel right at home.
Contrary to stereotypes, gOiNg wILd isn't really this ones specialty. She has sex like a confused chihuahua. Calling her back for a sequel is out of the question... but that's all okay when you look like 2003 Scarlett Johansson.
Watching girls live off the pocket change of degenerates usually sucks, but it's not without perks. I once saw a girl single-handedly stop the rise of the machines. But as far as precious memories go thats all up to these Jezebels.
I'm all for refusing to spend the extra $7.00 on a 3 pack of Magnums, but for real: if she doesn't start scouting better company eventually she'll end up on Maury Povich... and then it's "MISSION FAILED" a la Metal Gear Solid.
Local miscreant suffering from the combo of anorexia & Fresh Prince of Bel Air fashion sense seeks out the easiest way to make tree fiddy: The leading role in a skin flick that even Kevin Spacey wouldn't be caught jacking off to.
'Twitch Personality' ? I prefer the moniker 'Confused Prostitute'. Her only claim to fame is seducing rent money outta hopeless fucks that consider deodorant 'high fashion'. And then, the universe makes this happen...
I said it once, I'll say it again: sweet fuckin Mr. Bean, not even a Vietnamese plastic surgeon could Ctrl+Alt+Del the Clydesdale from this face. Decent body though. I shall dub u " fugliest ho i'd still go down on ". Run with that.
Technique can redeem just about anything - bad hygiene, irregular tits, liking The Big Bang Theory. But HER? She's got skills like a Chinese flutist & all I can think about is pairing her up with up with this genetic jackhammer.
Good taste in women (sluzzas). Poor taste in marriage material. 2 words homie: Martial Arts. Join the rest of the evolved population and pick up a hobby that won't end in a burning urethra, you repugnant, betamale fuck.
Becky gets the frappuccinos fucked out of her, generating one throbbing orgasm after another. I'm guessing the end result isn't too aesthetically pleasing. An hour of this is how things end up on the Arby's value menu.
What can be said? Just another tard that's taken her addiction to szechuan-flavored attention whoring to an entirely new level. Normally I'd file this type of creature in the 'never' pile... but this one officially gets a FAP pass ✔
Megaton MILF prides herself on making men blow their gravy supply faster than R. Kelly in an unsupervised porta potty. All by merely squeezing her meatloafs into a size XS piece of Spandex, courtesy of Party City. #skills
3 A.M. hookup goes from erotic to i'll kill u motherfucker as Ivan Ivanovitch Ivanovsky starts sticking his custard musket into enemy territory. The hate in her eyes is real. Him promising to keep this home movie a secret is not.
Calling this embarrassing would be a compliment. Drop the Taco Bell diet plan, give Michael Cera his voice back & stop taking advice from r/fedoras... then maybe then we can talk 'equality' you degenerate shit weasel.