A quick romp in the ole' spaghetti house goes south once this derpo realizes she needs to reevaluate her choice in birth control. But blinded by peer pressure & $1.75, she goes on. The result? A Tampax commercial.
She looks fine from the waist down, DAMN fine for that matter. But head north and it becomes pretty obvious who had to breed to produce that chin. Mother: Sarah Jessica Parker. Father: Kal-El from the planet Krypton.
Before today I was absolutely certain of two critical things: 1: Blondes are inherently on the spectrum for autism. And 2: Cats are born assholes. Looks like my opinions have officially been reinforced. See her live HERE
Desperate for fame and isn't afraid of lying on her resume. If these aren't the quintessential ingredients to be Nacho Vidal's next penis ornament, I don't know what is. Now save up those Pesos and fly the U.S and A. kthx.
proof HERE Apparently it was temporary. But how this girl remains sexually aroused is beyond me. 8 hour days of being molested by a Menudo cover band seems like it would dry out the sandbox pretty fucking quick.
If you've been gifted the genitalia of a hamster, it's best to break the ice through other means. Such as a political anecdote, or shitting ur pants for example. Both yield better odds of gettin laid than what this turd did HAHA
I'm linking to her entire gallery of videos, but if your interest is in the fallopian tube rearrangement I've selected for the thumbnail: FRET NOT. Your chlamydia-flavored soccer mom awaits you at the end of this link.
No context, no story. Just a gaggle of solid 7's doing their best impression of the morning after a night spent in Tiger Woods' hotel room. I've never seen such disrespect for bearded Brazilian beef beavers in all my damn life.
You know times are tough when you accept Hubert "i have warrants" Molesterol's offer to take his wrinkly banana for meager pay. Fun Fact: This dirty fuck got 5 girls pregnant before closing down Geriatric Studios. MORE
Fresh off a Walmonster shift and new to the porn scene, this hillbilly combo carve themselves right into the animal kingdom. An unfortunately accurate title for what's (probably) the biggest gag-inducer you'll witness all day.
What's life's greatest mystery? Aliens? The Bermuda Triangle? Tyler Perry movies? How about who the fuck this Grade-AA prime rib piece of ass is, & why she doesn't have a library of videos that compromise her sphincter?
She was raised on a strict no-negro diet: 1 lick of the chocolate bagpipe, and it's sayonara to her trust fund. So what happens when her daddy-bro-uncle stumbles upon this classic bait and switch? We may never truly know...
An up close look at the sensual/depressing lives of e-hookers, where girls are stripped of their dignity & subjected to panhandling, humiliation, semi erotic acts and repeats of Spotify's Top 50. In other words: Shit's top shelf.
On the outside all vaginas look different. But head east, and you quickly find that much like the buttplugs in Ellen Page's closet, they only come in one size: MICRO. 10 years of running porn sites, and that's all I've learned.
This is actually genius. Find the right angle & perspective makes the world think you're hung like rhinoceros. Too bad it's wasted on Omegle, where the only action you can get is from girls with more social anxiety than tits.
Anyone recognize this human avalanche? Kinda looks like that cheese walrus from the movie Gamer to me. Shit man, how about sharing your secret with us? 17,000 McNuggets later & you still smash like the G.O.A.T.
Some will watch this and see a beautiful free spirit. Others with shower their routers in ammonia and set their monitor on fire. But moi? All I see is a girl that gives 0 fucks about gender neautral bathrooms. Call me Mr. Positivity.
She's drunk, high and/or possibly dead... all of which appropriately explain why she's the closest thing to a heterosexual in this video. I have a strong feeling this ended with at least one cellphone getting lost into the abyss.
Enjoy this one slowly. For this is undoubtedly the first, last and only time you'll ever see a teenage girl drunkenly slam dunk her own gash directly in front of a disapproving parental unit. In another word... FAPFAPFAP.
19-years-old and doesn't know what a vagina is. But what they lack in anatomy classes they make up for in... well... nothing. Even combined these two are completely fucking useless & I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm thinking it might be best if you invested those disability checks into something other than backpage's whore section. Like, a doctor visit. Climaxing should never resemble James Early Jones on a Stair Master.