Here's a few staple rules to live your life by: 1) Don't copy what you see on the Internet. 2) Never stick your baby carrot in crazy. Both situations tend to have the same lopsided risk/reward ratio attached to the them. #warned
Meet 22-year-old Serenity. She has a knack for rejecting everything and anything resembling sexual contact during a porn scene. This video is an example of what happens to producers when The Cuntinator gets her way.
Want indisputable proof that Americans are all about philanthropy? Look no further my skeptical friends. Our boy wheels gets the handout of a lifetime, effectively erecting all jealous boners in a quarter mile radius.
Everybody has a gift. His is convincing solid 7's to double up on his bald headed field mouse while simultaneously crossing sexual orientation lines. A beautiful moment before being dropkicked back to the strawberry fields.
2 rules: Don't touch the ink. And don't beat the shit out of her face. Talk about high standards. But this fire-eyed hose hog isn't fucking around . One costar decides to test her anyway, resulting in a brief but epic departure.
Contrary to stereotypes, gOiNg wILd isn't really this ones specialty. She has sex like a confused chihuahua. Calling her back for a sequel is out of the question... but that's all okay when you look like 2003 Scarlett Johansson.
Watching girls live off the pocket change of degenerates usually sucks, but it's not without perks. I once saw a girl single-handedly stop the rise of the machines. But as far as precious memories go thats all up to these Jezebels.
I'm all for refusing to spend the extra $7.00 on a 3 pack of Magnums, but for real: if she doesn't start scouting better company eventually she'll end up on Maury Povich... and then it's "MISSION FAILED" a la Metal Gear Solid.
Local miscreant suffering from the combo of anorexia & Fresh Prince of Bel Air fashion sense seeks out the easiest way to make tree fiddy: The leading role in a skin flick that even Kevin Spacey wouldn't be caught jacking off to.
I said it once, I'll say it again: sweet fuckin Mr. Bean, not even a Vietnamese plastic surgeon could Ctrl+Alt+Del the Clydesdale from this face. Decent body though. I shall dub u " fugliest ho i'd still go down on ". Run with that.
Technique can redeem just about anything - bad hygiene, irregular tits, liking The Big Bang Theory. But HER? She's got skills like a Chinese flutist & all I can think about is pairing her up with up with this genetic jackhammer.
Becky gets the frappuccinos fucked out of her, generating one throbbing orgasm after another. I'm guessing the end result isn't too aesthetically pleasing. An hour of this is how things end up on the Arby's value menu.
Megaton MILF prides herself on making men blow their gravy supply faster than R. Kelly in an unsupervised porta potty. All by merely squeezing her meatloafs into a size XS piece of Spandex, courtesy of Party City. #skills
3 A.M. hookup goes from erotic to i'll kill u motherfucker as Ivan Ivanovitch Ivanovsky starts sticking his custard musket into enemy territory. The hate in her eyes is real. Him promising to keep this home movie a secret is not.
Kinda like the Jigsaw franchise, this went from intriguing to 'it's time to stop' pretty damn quick. Tipping point involves a vaginal evacuation story told in the most soothing voice I've heard since Bob Ross. 10/10, would fap again.
and by 'moment' I mean the 10 seconds it took for an Ecuadorian hooker to say ADIOS to the gangbang contract and make a run for the door. Only thing missing here is a Mariachi band attempting to cover Cyprus Hill songs.