the 'ole charlie sheen technique
Nothing says i want to be 18 again quite like having the storage capacity of Madison Square Garden, right under your waistline. She's far from repairable, but that's okay. Moms are hotter when they have to try harder.
Like my reaction after hearing Oprah Winfrey wants to run for president, you can literally see fear in her eyes. Emphasis on the :24 sec mark with the introduction of a move I can only refer to as The Turkish Can Opener.
Nothing gets the clicks up quite like an unexpected ride on the gooch train: So here's a 20-pack. TWENTY. As in the number of times I have to flush a low-flow public toilet after a spirited afternoon at Olive Garden.
Matilda tries to single-handedly start up her own my vagina wont divide us movement in downtown Sydney. By slapsticking the pavement with her sideways sloppy joe and challenging all that oppose her.
Drop the weeabo SnapChat filters, give Shia LaBeouf his mood swings back, and get a hobby that doesn't include cunting out in public places... and maybe then we can talk 'superiority' you degenerate cocksucker.
Nice technique, but not for beginners. Chances are your slim Jimmy will enter uncharted territories & come out looking like something from Creature from the Brown Lagoon. or Lionel Richie. Choose your own horror story.
i gotchu fam
He's built like Despicable Me, and she's got more daddy issues than stripper in her 3rd trimester. It's a sexual disconection, and one that goes from midly interesting, to dude what the fuuuuuuuuuu pretty damn quickly.
Flattery may not be my strong point, but I gotta say: chick is bangin yo. I'd gladly chew Kraft Macaroni and Cheese Ninja Turtles Edition out of Usain Bolts post-200 meter relay asshole just for a chance to hold her hand.
Who the fuck does this girl thinks she is? The John Cena of indecent exposure? This is exactly why I make my friends carry a 2 pack of raincoats on them at all times. Degenerates around every corner/burn ward.
I should warn you: Gravity has already won the war. I guess there's still life behind those nipples... but in 3 years TOPS, these things will have no use outside of being stunt doubles in the 3D reboot of Good Burger.
Looks pretty predictable to me. She's got the tolerance of 1 ply toilet paper, and he's hung like a walrus tusk. Uncertainty & swollen lymph nodes should be expected.
Legally, she's not a midget (5'6), but she does have the body type of a malnourished refugee and is actually pretty cute to boot. I'd totally White Knight her with a trip to Legoland, and get blown on Coastersaurus Rex.
This is pretty damn cool. And I don't mean 'haha cool' like when Rosie O'Donnell claimed to be a female. This woman is focused, disciplined and can grease the shaft like she's doing a double shift at Jiffy Lube. #KEEPER
It's all about method acting. Conquer that, and nothing shall come between your crotchwaffle and pornographic stardom... save for a possible Rohypnol addiction.
02:53 - "You can fuck the shit out of me now!"
03:05 - [INSTANT REGRET]
03:09 - " I WANT U 2 CUM"
Infuckincredible. I bet youd slurp the corned beef hash from her Irish shithole, just to be in the same room as those vitamin-loaded honeydews. I'd even offer a swipe of my coveted Subway loyalty card just for a peek.
Easily the most bogus video I've seen since YouTube's social experiment revolution. I must note tho: nobody got hurt, fantasies were fulfilled and this girl's suction should be patented before Dyson rips it off. #DAMN