It's wild. On the outside all vaginas look different. But if you were to head east, you'd quickly find out that much like the the buttplugs in Ellen Page's collection, they only come in one size: MICRO. 10+ years of running porn sites, and that's really all I've learned.
Great taste in women, poor taste in location. Two words homie: Chipotle Bathroom. At least in there indeterminable body fluids are a common sight, and it doesn't ruin the ending of Moby Dick you abhorrent, free-balling fuck.
44 fucking minutes of footage, and I still don't know if this girl is a dwarf or I'm getting hoodwinked my creative camera angles again. Luckily, my family-sized jug of coconut oil has run dry and I've already stopped caring.
Starts off as a BJ vid, but like me during The Mummy remake, it lasts about 27 seconds. From then on it's all pleasure. And by 'pleasure' I mean whiplash so violent u'll be amazed she can feed herself without FEMA gettin involved.
A penis that needs it's own life boat, and an insanely high tolerance for pain. If there ever was an instructional video on why to lock the fucking door in public places, I'd declare these two just laid the groundwork for a sequel.
This site taught me two important things today. a) discounted prostitutes with physical deformities are a relic of the past. and 2) Human contact will not be necessary for future ejaculations. VR's got me & my wallet covered.
2 things I value more than Arby's 5 for $5: One involves quilted toilet paper & pressure assisted toilets. The other is women so into their fantasies, they don't even need a costar to bring da squeeze. Today, 1 wish gets granted.