aye, I'm thinking it might be best if you restrict all incoming traffic to the front of your body. Either that, or stop shopping for clientele at zoo entrances. Another few years of this and even a Jewish butcher won't be discounting that meat pile.
Some women need size to get off. Others, a $12.00 shopping spree at Moe's Tex Mex Grill. Then there's Kenzie Reeves who needs no more than half a mini vienna sausage to send her convulsing back to the baby Gap her wardrobe is from.
You can go and ahead and consider this the sequel you never knew you wanted. And 2.5 more reasons to never step foot over Russia's border unless you have an incurable need to wipe your ass with a polar bear claw. Part 1 can be found HERE
There's no better way to celebrate your final day of freedom than by cramming a bottle of Pepsi's finest in the tuna mitten of a $14.00 hooker. They went for an assisted goal, but she insisted max capacity was already reached. UH HUH...
Don't be misled by the Victoria's Secret attire and willingness to film. She may resemble that waitress at Denny's you wanted to fuck in dad's El Camino... but trust me - there isn't enough blackmarket dick pills to hammer through this one.
Call her what you will: Gianna Dior, Divine Box... I prefer the moniker "the reason I have to apply aloe vera to my penis every 3-5 hours". Never before has a pornstar made me proud of the reward points I earned shopping exclusively at Walgreens.
Interesting approach to entertainment. It's like Robot Chicken lost it's virginity to a Vietnamese midget. note: This site makes this kind of compilation every update (among all their other efukt-inspired edits) and that's not just cool... it's frosty.
My first 'pay-to-play' was in a McD toilet stall. She was more Kurt Perry than Katy Perry, pretty foul. Not even a replay of Heather Graham's bush in Boogie Nights changed the mood. But... if I had this guy's attitude? Life would be different.
I've seen a lot of desperation in my day... but damn near 4 fucking hours of mid-production skin flicks trying to pass themselves off as revenge porn? I would say the Internet has officially reached a new low... but buzzfeed.com still exists.
The planet's newest trend: Introducing your significant other to a man with more meat than Texas butcher shop... and then watching her get dismantled by it. Not my cup of Mountain Dew, but that might be due to not having a Reddit account.
Some people will watch this and see a beautiful free spirit. Others will shower their routers in ammonia and set their monitor on fire. But me? All I see is a girl that gives 0 fucks about gender neautral bathrooms. Call me Mr. Positivity.
Don't let the girth-to-length ratios fool you. These girls have zero respect for their reproductive systems and all surrounding upholstery. Such as illustrated by sloot @2:20 going down to the meat bag without as much as a pre-sodomy spit shine.
Most chances of sexual activity flatline after being courted by Mike Myer's stunt double. Not in this guy's world. He refuses to let his disability hold him back and here I am wondering how I can translate all 4 Free Willy films into busting a nut.
Funny how porn has evolved from basic penetration, into an ambitious race to see who's more willing to donate their genitals to medical research. She's Melody Marks and she just gave my wiener reason to watch The Walking Dead again.
I guess having sex isn't exactly considered "challenging" when someone has the alcohol tolerance of a vienna sausage. Lesson learned: Never try to impress a girl that's probably used the neighbor's cat as toilet paper. #germany #whydidifap