After shlogging a good 90% of the right-swipe rejects on FarmersMeet.com - you are entitled to a bone being thrown your way. And here I thought I've seen jevery angle there is to enter a Pottery Barn cashier from... but I was wrong. So wrong.
Kinda pointless to shame yourself on social media and not even flash one angle of your cervix that can be Photoshopped into Sponge Bob. Aren't we supposed to be marching towards new goals as a society? I'm disappointed in you, Becky.
Welcome to the world of implied incestual videos. Against all better judgement, it's managed to take the Internet's #1 spot as go-to spank material. Here's a tip tho: They're all faker than Sylvester Stallone's piss test. But this one...
I've seen a lot of desperation in my day... but damn near 4 fucking hours of mid-production skin flicks trying to pass themselves off as revenge porn? I would say the Internet has officially reached a new low... but buzzfeed.com still exists.
Practically 2 hours of social-media influenced acts of whoring - so unprecedented you might have to get the Jiffy Pop ready and clear an afternoon. Don't be fooled by those smiles tho... their love for Internet anonymity dies here and dies now.
Becky LaStarbuck's safe space gets invaded by some degenerate clawing his way to 500 likes and subscribes... only to find the find the school's biggest petri dish instead. Does she: 1) Demand he stop 2) Compare dick sizes or 3) Not budge
protip for my ever-evolving female viewer base: If you ever find yourself in this situation, make sure you order the blooming onion first. Outback servers tend to frown upon this kind of behavior out of the gate. Ask me how I know.
1 video, 5 minutes, no name. The identity race started in this thread and has now spread around porn sites faster than genital warts at an Insane Clown Posse concert. Four weeks later and we still have nothing but dick rash to show for it...
My first 'pay-to-play' was in a McD toilet stall. She was more Kurt Perry than Katy Perry, pretty foul. Not even a replay of Heather Graham's bush in Boogie Nights changed the mood. But... if I had this guy's attitude? Life would be different.
Yes, she's 18-years-old... and slightly defective by the look of things. Really not sure what else to say about her. It's just another one of those geeky broads that's taken their obsession with Harry Potter spells a little bit too fucking far to fap.
Some people will watch this and see a beautiful free spirit. Others will shower their routers in ammonia and set their monitor on fire. But me? All I see is a girl that gives 0 fucks about gender neautral bathrooms. Call me Mr. Positivity.
You just can't go back after this. She'll forever be known as the super THOT of Bumblefuck Alabama. She's essentially a walking, twitching Reddit activist for open sexuality... yet stays in good spirit knowing this vid is going straight to IG.
Lookout world, this eroding shit stain has no limits. He also has a group of friends that lost their virginitys to a series of mail-order body pillows. Keep these 2 details in mind - it's the closest clue you're gonna get as to why the fuck this was filmed.
And that's about 30 more than the average heterosexual male will need to reach peak yogurt arch. If there was a hall of fame for "Reasons I Have to use a Magic Eraser on my Ceiling" this would be on top. Directly underneath this clown show.
Pretty sure this one is a complete setup, but she's definitely been down this road before. The "a guy tried to pay me for sex in Canadian pennies so I punched his cock" is a reaction that can only be experienced - not learned. Ask me how I know.
Never underestimate the benefits of a 3-star YELP hotel that recycles toilet paper. You may leave with a more diseased crotch than all 97-years of Madonna's world tours combined... but the stories you'll be able to tell will be legendary. #facts
Guillermo del Toro and his production company have some fucking explaining to do. I don't know what I just watched but personally, I think he should find a way to cast the Olsen twins in the sequel and let the tapioca fly. Think outside the box.
so... what's the number one reason men travel abroad with copious amounts of currency in their wallets? To traffic drugs inside the rectal cavities of local cattle and/or family members. But right behind that, there's this. Watch & learn hombrè.
Symptom #37 that you've graduated from everyday camgirl, to fully fledged bucket list fuck: You actively shoot, edit and upload a video of your oyster farm getting shucky ducky'd for all the degenerates of the world to see. quack quack
That tit-to-tattoo ratio: Never in my life have I been so impressed and disgusted at the same time. Actually... that's not true. Walking into a Walmart bathroom unannounced during Black Friday still holds that trophy. But this is a strong silver.