Got trust issues? Mine stem from being dick tricked 392 consecutive times by the Eastern Hemisphere. Fall for that many trouser barnacles in a row and you best believe I'm 2nd guessing your TINDER profile, TIFFANY.
Talk about bait and switch. Listen Riku, when it comes time to blow my hanukkah nickles on backpage.com, the last thing I want my mouth on is more udders than pregnant Jack Russel Terrier. Nip/Tuck that shit, kthx.
Akira stuck her ching in the wrong chang, and now this giggly goldfish monger won't be able to get the smell of tuna puree out of her codpiece for months. There goes her budding future as a hostess at T.G.I McFuck Yous.
Wait for it...
So, what jackass thought it was a good idea to Windows Movie Maker the soundtrack of a Sailor Moon episode onto this? If you can afford an aboriginal, you can afford Adobe Premier. 0 stars you disorderly fuck.
Riku gets a black dong to the dome after committing to a Craigslist ad titled 'need a queen cuz we wuz KANGS'. This is actually the favorable outcome for a girl that solicits her pho-bowl on the Internet. GL w/ the crabs.
"Japan's very interesting. Some people think it copies things. I don't think that anymore. I think what they do is reinvent things. In some cases, they understand it better than the original inventor." - Steve Jobs 1985
Another azn girl, spreading her bento box in the most dangerous way possible. Apparently having sex next to Mufasa gives a competitive edge. Almost as perplexing as the permanent shit-eating grin on her costar's face.
a.k.a Deira Hanzawa. Known for skin flicks with a man carrying more meat than a deli butcher. That was 10 years ago & the weeabo community's been jacking off to the same 3 clips ever since. A comeback is overdue.
Fred Durst made all the right moves at Pottery Barn & takes home their most prestigious cashier. Good call on going bareback too. You'll want this Netflix and chill moment to be forever burned in memory and genitalia.
He looks like the kinda guy that sells propane and propane accessories when not preoccupied with WWE pay-per-views, but I shouldn't hate. He fucks women. I'm still stuck in the tube sock/cream cheese matrix.
How many times have I said "sweet mother of Hulk fucking Hogan, this Asian girl just turned me off to the entire female gender"? Ninety seven. How many times did I actually mean it? ZERO. Until today. #TRIGGERED
Stripping: aka the quintessential stepping stone to full blown porno. Most trailer park residents cross over ASAP - but chances are they weren't gifted the Carrot Top prop-bag of genitalia. This ones gonna be just fine.
Poor prosti. Freshly brainwashed by a 24 hour marathon of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, she thought gettin hollowed out by a gentleman named Omar could be fun.
Wang and Co. have one task: Lick the correct anus or face the consequences ala a trap made by Jigsaw himself. If these aren't the quintessential for truly entertaining game shows, I don't want to know what is.
Japanese girl destroys both physics & my expectations of all sub-97 lb females at the same time. I officially want to be the first American to lend our "Home of the Brave" slogan out to East Asia. Azumi just earned it.
Reckless asshole crams every centimeter of his 15 inch megalodon into a Thai hooker that's quite literally a 4th his size. Some call it abuse. Jim Cramer calls it getting your moneysworth.