She's pretty hot. So hot I'd consider parting with my first-edition Lindsay Lohan love doll just for a fighting chance at being lost inside that Japanese bush fire. Yes, I'm talking about the rare pre "i snorted Tide Pods before it was cool" version.
She seems like a nice girl. The type that'd throw herself off a government building if you missed a text, or fuck the mailman if your Instagram post got 0 likes. But her enthusiasm? I've seen happier faces cleaning the toilets at Renaissance Fairs.
There's a pretty thin line between 'i only date girls with alcohol addiction' and being sodomized by Uncle Touch-a-Taint. Where that line actually is... I don't know. But I can tell you for sure, Bing Bing over here just leaped it.
Not since walking into a waffle house at 2 AM have I seen such disrespect for the lower half of a brown female. And just like the riot that ended that night, he has no intent of letting $39 worth of plastic surgery go to waste.
This is standard Asian our music sounds like squirrels in a woodchipper, but if I put my mouth on your cock you won't notice it syndrome. Fortunately, science has gifted us the video to accompany this diss track. #springbreak
Local miscreant suffering from the combo of anorexia & Fresh Prince of Bel Air fashion sense seeks out the easiest way to make tree fiddy: The leading role in a skin flick that even Kevin Spacey wouldn't be caught jacking off to.
I like how the non-naked one cleans up the apartment, keeping things professional and ladylike, rather than jumping in and rimming the brown gazelle from behind. In her mind, she's only half a whore. SUPERCUTE ^=^
For fuck sakes Japan. Not even a South Vietnamese psychiatrist could Ctrl+Alt+Del the mental imagery of this situation. Insane body though. I dub you craziest MILF I'd drag my dick through glass for. Run with dat.
Got trust issues? Mine stem from being dick tricked 392 consecutive times by the Eastern Hemisphere. Fall for that many trouser barnacles in a row and you best believe I'm 2nd guessing your TINDER profile, TIFFANY.
Talk about bait and switch. Listen Riku, when it comes time to blow my hanukkah nickles on backpage.com, the last thing I want my mouth on is more udders than pregnant Jack Russel Terrier. Nip/Tuck that shit, kthx.
Akira stuck her ching in the wrong chang, and now this giggly goldfish monger won't be able to get the smell of tuna puree out of her codpiece for months. There goes her budding future as a hostess at T.G.I McFuck Yous.
Fred Durst made all the right moves at Pottery Barn & takes home their most prestigious cashier. Good call on going bareback too. You'll want this Netflix and chill moment to be forever burned in memory and genitalia.
Another MFC slag airing out the flaps for guys cruising on the poverty line. She thinks raising erections at the Krusty Krab gives a competitive edge, but it's just an act of desperation even Dustin Diamond would laugh at.
Stripping: aka the quintessential stepping stone to full blown porno. Most trailer park residents cross over ASAP - but chances are they weren't gifted the Carrot Top prop-bag of genitalia. This ones gonna be just fine.
Today we learn 3 crucial things, so grab ur protractor and pay attention: #1: Charity is still alive and well. #2: Language barriers can always be broken. And #3: Unwashed hobo cock tastes better than Pepsi Max.
Japanese girl destroys both physics & my expectations of all sub-97 lb females at the same time. I officially want to be the first American to lend our "Home of the Brave" slogan out to East Asia. Azumi just earned it.
This is pretty disturbing, and I don't mean haha-disturbing, like when Amy Winehouse OD'ed on alcohol and died. This woman is frail, malnourished and being forced to do Crossfit at gunpoint. I don't know whether to cringe or nominate her for an AVN award.
This is actually standard Japanese 'i cant satisfy you with my cock, might as well kill you' syndrome. Fortunately revolutionary science has blessed us with Extenze penis pills. Save up your fortune cookies bro.
Not really, but technically they should. There's 43 grams of protein chillin at the other end of that meat-stick, and she needs the nutrition like Lindsey Lohan needs cancer. So where's the enthusiasm?
Tojo stuck his ching up the wrong chang, and now this poor Asian broad aint gonna shit tofu right for another decade. There goes her budding career as scat girl #8 in the hugely popular "Oops I Defecated On You" series.
Four milfs stand naked behind a cardboard wall that reveals nothing more than their twats n' knockers. Objective? Sniff the vaginas, locate mom. Prize? Getting to sniff mom's vagina. Sign me the fuck up.