I guess having sex isn't exactly considered "challenging" when someone has the alcohol tolerance of a vienna sausage. Lesson learned: Never try to impress a girl that's probably used the neighbor's cat as toilet paper. #germany #whydidifap
I can forgive the potato-grade video quality. I understand the lack of names to prevent Instagram stalking. But cutting off the girls @3:39 before they ran to use honey dijon as lubricant? ZERO/5 stars you simple-minded, incredulous fuck.
Sociopaths play their Blue-Eyed White Domestic Abuse cards in attack mode. The end result? A record-setting 4 minute tutorial of what not to do when your Tinder match finally says yes to Chicken Nuggets & Chill.
Prostitution is pretty straight-forward. Browse Craigslist Gigs-Labor section and let the restraining orders fly. Unless you're a naive rookie that charges less than KFC's 10-piece Family Feast. Then it gets a little awkward...
[tip: look in the third row for link] Creepy fuck sets up shop in an air duct just to get a peek at a random cooter as she unloads some Mountain Dew. Unfortunately he makes too much noise & scares the utter shit out of her.
Now if only he put as much effort into his apprenticeship as he did into literally ruining his entire life, maybe this repulsive fuck would've thought twice about using a camera with the pixel output of a yukon potato. #gross
3 A.M. hookup goes from erotic to i'll kill u motherfucker as Ivan Ivanovitch Ivanovsky starts sticking his custard musket into enemy territory. The hate in her eyes is real. Him promising to keep this home movie a secret is not.
There's something captivating about a man that approaches cornholing the way a lumberjack does a tree. Itscreams "i did hard time in San Quentin". Definitely a legend. Definitely worthy of his own category at ExpertVillage.
This guy might as well be the Conor McGregor of butthole dysfunction, and today he's teaching Relationships 101. Adopt his patented "Oklahoma whiff n' dip", and I promise, ur lady will never think about crying misogyny again.
Take your average Otaku, unleash him into the public transit system, and this is the result every time. All but guaranteed to wipe out any plans you have of taking the bus into town ever again. I vote public execution.
You know your stock is circling the drain when the number one flirtation tactic in your arsenal involves a closed fist, and the finest douchebro tanktop in the Macy's 50% off bin. PS: Keep skipping leg day phaggot.
This is what happens when you allow Reddit users to interact with women outside of r/fedoras. Genders are offended, penises exposed - all cause some nerd can't keep his meat-beating limited to MFC & X-Files cosplay.
I wish Mr. White Shirt was a returning character in all casual sex videos. He's about as good at flirting as I am at convincing fat girls on TINDER that my semen tastes like Ben & Jerry's cake batter. Simply put: phenomenal.
Prettier the girl, the nicer you have to act to get below the panty line. A pretty standard concept and it's now officially obsolete thanks to this Australian asshole. Guy makes Martin Shkreli look charitable, he's that dickish.
Nice taste in women victims. Terrible pickup strategy though. Two words: Adoption Agency. Join the rest of the evolved population and use a dog to break the ice next time, you repulsive inbred piece of antisocial shit.
Don't laugh at this. Even if your soul is more decayed than Madonna's rectum after a weekend visit to a naval base, it should still tell you that giggle time is fucking cancelled. Now air-drop this cunt to Guantanamo Bay.
He's packing 5.7 inches worth of sexual assault but the target won't sit still long enough for him to deliver the payload. Bonus pts for her almost backing into it, but ultimately he goes home with a dick dryer than Egypt.
2 A.M. booty call goes from sensuous to fuck my life as DeAndre DeDouche repeatedly slides his butterfinger into no-mans-land: her acne-ridden, possibly-virgin asshole. She cries. He laughs. I bookmark.
Domingo & Co drop their chimichangas and head to the rooftop for some ol' fashioned Salvadoran fun: dropping 4 gallons of asparagus-enriched urine onto 2 lovers, mid-buttfuck. #domingo #asparagus #worldofpain
Kinda off-topic but holy fuckin frosted flakes, whenever this girl gets pissed (every 3 seconds), her face instantaneously scrunches up and transforms into Michael Cera. Proof @ the 6:59 mark. It's magical.