The 'celeb' section gets less action than a transgender feminist faking menstrual cycles during a monster truck rally. If these skankaroonies don't start making better use of their genitals, I might shitcan the entire thing.
She rises from a crack den, to offer up her snagglepuss to a crowd of confused Generation Z'rs. The bread's at full yeast, but those titties still look perky. I'd close my eyes and just pretend it's Selena Gomez's asshole.
Porn Parodies: The sure sign of making it in the entertainment industry. Most celebrities have to wait until their 2nd act of public intoxication to get one, but odds are they didn't get brain kicked back to reality.
If I may be so bold, I'll speak for everyone here: I can forgive the low-grade cellphone quality. I can look past Ned Flander's head blocking half the shot. But giving us .GIF over .MP4? 0/10 you ungenerous, greedy shitbag.
Hey Christina. Here's a concept for your next big song. It's called "I Used To Be Hot But Now My Face Looks Bloated Like Newt Gingrich's Asshole & I Cant Stop My Vagina From Leaking V8 Splash". Straight from the soul.
Open letter to Shaq: I will donate the $16.50 I made off the sale of my Captain Planet inflatable doll to a charity of your choosing in exchange for a single image of her taking your elephant cock, anally.