I've heard a lot of guys say a lot of audacious shit just to keep their dick submerged in A-tier whisker biscuit. But to fan-fiction your way through divorce court? That's a level of dedication I never wanted to know.
Today's Lessons: Bottom is never better, queefs are always funny, unleashing seminal tidal waves is socially acceptable in the right application, and everybody that resembles Freddie Mercury is gay. Class dismissed.
Don't do what Donny Don't does, or you'll be sending yourself on a 1-way trip to the Sahara Desert of knob jobs. Heed my warning so ur not the only guy without a staff infection at the next Motley Crue concert.
Good call on the for-her pleasure condoms. Those inanimate, double-D real dolls are notorious for picking up sexually transmitted diseases. You just dodged syphilis, HIV and maybe even irritable bowel syndrome.
Carlos, you cringey shitbag. There's 2 things you don't mess with in life: 1) Christian Bale during his menstrual pains and 2) Another man's booty call. Eat a steak and save the 'Live at 5' action news for gofuckyourself.com
This DiCaprio-level actress isn't much for words, but her plight is pretty clear. Likely couldn't cut it as a Starbuck's barista and is now left making 'porn' that only appeals to guys that jack off to WWE. You'll fap.
Noobie gets plundered by French Robert de Niro with an agenda consisting solely of her coal hole and how to pillage it. But apparently this shitter was built by Nokia, cause despite his wrath.. she walks away with a smile.
Twerking: Mastered by black girls, pure nightmare fuel when Sally gets down. But am I the only one who sees the danger here? 1 wrong move & her skeletal structure will have more breaks than a Mexican landscaper.