Communal Service Porn: Sometimes it's about as exhilarating as an audio book of Warren Buffet customizing a footlong at Subway. But throw in a bazooka for a cock and a husband that can speak Klingon and it suddenly becomes legendary.
Forgive my lack of relationship knowledge... but I really want to know: Does having less testosterone than a VICE journalist really attract women? 9 seconds of watching Predator has taught me otherwise. P.S. Nice hospitality Stewart.
Increasingly disturbing fetish keeps picks up more steam, but this time the female is a total swipe-right. Her snargleburger gets more attention than a Worldcup overtime game & all I can do is wonder why. New Jersey's finest.
The downside of adopting an all-kale diet? Every uterus in a 500 mile radius is using your ass to springboard her next Instagram post to buzzfeed's front page. And don't even get me started on the leaking bowel syndrome...
After bulldozing 50% of Detroit's prostis, our man finally broke unfamiliar ground: A woman in it for the BBC, not crackrock... and a dedicated one at that. That butthole took more abuse than a fully charged EBT card at KFC.
This is Mariah Leonne. She's already been on here a few times doing the exact same shit... but this circus act is more dangerous than the others. 2 words lady: SUPER AIDS. Start vetting the guys, or get the GoFundMe ready.
Dude's got balls allowing Arnold Schwarzenegro to go Conan the Barbarian on his S/O. Speaking of balls... where the fuck is his nutsack? The only thing suggesting he's a man at this point are the camo shorts and bald head LOL
Some girls need girth to get off. Others, a $50 shopping spree at Sephora. And then there's Veronica Veganpuss, who takes no less than two semen satchels to reach her o-face. That's a fucking deal breaker for sure.
This bench warmer saw 1 too many efukt videos and thought he was ready to play 2nd string. Probably didn't anticipate his dialogue to be more confusing than Nicholas Cage's summer vacation though. Color me baffled.
At first I was like wow, this guy is an asshole for letting a roommate go crab appling in his girlfriend's butthole, unprotected. I was actually worried until I realized what year it is. Five words y'all: stillbetterthanfidgetspinning.
See the epic eye roll @6:03? I know that look. It's the fuck, i shouldn't have married a guy that voted Bernie look. No kidding lady. A) Free college is a myth. 2) Your uterus wouldnt have turned into a chapter of the YMCA
Good taste in women (sluzzas). Poor taste in marriage material. 2 words homie: Martial Arts. Join the rest of the evolved population and pick up a hobby that won't end in a burning urethra, you repugnant, betamale fuck
He gets the 'ok' to go Sonic Hedgehogo on prime MILF after being PAID by her husband. A legit pussy slayer for hire. Another 1 of those college courses that should be offered right next to underwater basket weaving.
The borderline down syndrome during the day, token slut at night combo I can tolerate. Hell, I encourage it. But blood flow to my yankee doodle stops when this derp is forced to interact with another human. ugh.
Being 'open-minded' really came back to bite this guy in the taint. Maybe next time inspect the bulge on the pensioner you contracted to fuck your wife, and save the regret for a guy not configured like Arnold Palmer?