Facials

  • WHITE PRIVILEGE!

    WHITE PRIVILEGE!

    Take your average Old Navy cashier, incentivize her with 4 minutes of Facebook Live fame and 2 complimentary strains of HPV, and this is what you get. Apply all yogurt-based lubricants and gift cards accordingly.

    Date: 05/16/17 Views: 147,690 Category: Facials

  • High Maintenance GF

    High Maintenance GF

    My hunch tells me after this video ended, her status of girlfriend was about as real as a 'Bold Guy' film getting theatrical distribution... but I do find her hatred for face painting surprisingly erotic. Make with the digits.

    Date: 06/06/16 Views: 182,563 Category: Facials

  • Swallowing = Bad Idea

    Swallowing = Bad Idea

    Seven minute tutorial on how to secure your status as girlfriend. When the nut butter makes an unannounced trip to your sinus cavity, just smile, nod & continue on.

    Date: 03/20/16 Views: 144,718 Category: Facials

  • Your porn application has been DENIED

    Your porn application has been DENIED

    HIM: "We don't degrade you here"
    NOOB: ":)"
    HIM: [battery acid cumshot]
    NOOB: ":("

    Date: 03/05/16 Views: 215,073 Category: Facials

  • First Facial = HUMILIATION

    First Facial = HUMILIATION

    Not since the days of blindly acquiring porn ala Limewire have I come across a female with such seminal apathy. She's got standards bro. You know who doesn't have standards? THIS CORPSE. Laugh at her -- fap to this.

    Date: 05/16/15 Views: 109,676 Category: Facials

  • Not Throat Fucking - Throat BULLDOZING

    Not Throat Fucking - Throat BULLDOZING

    Some "feels" I'm glad I will never experience in life: pap smears, digesting $20 worth of Del Taco and the Simon Cowell of deep throating porn demanding I GO DEEPER. There's just no coming back from something like this.

    Date: 10/26/14 Views: 215,112 Category: Facials

  • How The Marriage Ended

    How The Marriage Ended

    Dude wakes up his white trash wife by blowing a fat load of Mircale Whip all over her ugly face... and ear lol. How's that for breakfast in bed baby?

    Date: 08/23/10 Views: 140,294 Category: Facials

  • You're Doing It Wrong

    You're Doing It Wrong

    This is from an audition tape that was mailed to a porn studio in Cali. Poor dude was so desperate to land a job as a manslut that he resorted to faking a Peter North style cumshot, thinking it'd give him an 'edge'. LOL.

    Date: 07/23/10 Views: 154,777 Category: Facials

  • Grossed Out By Semen

    Grossed Out By Semen

    Cute pornstar nearly vomits after getting a taste of her partners alfredo sauce. Bitch needs to quit tripping and learn to savor the condiments of life.

    Date: 07/14/10 Views: 106,479 Category: Facials

  • Towel Please!

    Towel Please!

    She's not a fan of the tapioca pudding. After acting like a priss she tries to excuse her behavior by claiming to be a noob to taking facials. Uh huh... and I'm a direct descendant of Jesus.

    Date: 06/17/10 Views: 166,977 Category: Facials

  • No Me Gusta Semen!

    No Me Gusta Semen!

    Sorry bitch. That's exactly what you get for looking like Richard Simmons.

    Date: 05/12/10 Views: 94,729 Category: Facials

  • The Mother Of All Loads

    The Mother Of All Loads

    Fuck. That's enough man sauce to feed an entire Ethiopian village. Mufasa come quick! The Americans have brought us tapioca pudding!

    Date: 09/13/09 Views: 225,095 Category: Facials