Not since paying backpage.com's finest in pennies have you seen a sexual arrangement become such a challenge. A hooker with a 'no tits no blowjob' policy? Congratulations on being more useless than a chocolate teapot.
Nothing gets an appt booked with the clinic faster than skin-on-skin with Thailand's second string. So here's 2 of em. That's right, TWO - as in the # of Valtrex dosages this guy will be taking every day for the rest of his life.
and by 'moment' I mean the 10 seconds it took for an Ecuadorian hooker to say ADIOS to the gangbang contract and make a run for the door. Only thing missing here is a Mariachi band attempting to cover Cyprus Hill songs.
Slick Rickles rushes, she leaps away in fear: a move this pro anticipated. He returns fire at full power, and dives deeper in her mud goblet. Reality at 11:24 when it's realized she won the battle, but lost the war HAHA.
Dude's got a knack for tossing sauce... and apparently he's been stockpiling for a week 'cause even a certified cocksmith wasn't expecting to put in overtime hours today. Not much of a talker, but she sure can squawk!
Have you ever seen a professional cocksmith go from smiling to disgusted so quickly? She's pretty good at hiding it but lemme tell ya... it's all fun and games until you're face-to-gut with a man in his third trimester.
An eight minute crash course on how to squeeze every shekel out of your favorite vagrant - as illustrated by a guy that barks out more instructions than a fucking ride at 6 Flags. It's priceless information really. Trust me.
Spunky Brewster taps into not-so repressed memories, creating worse mental imagery than I got upon hearing of a Courtney Stodden sex tape. And that's before she mentioned the $5 cream cheese special. You'll see...
Fresh out of an Arby's parking lot and new to the ride & glide scene, this spring-loaded slut bounces her way to redneck superstardom. The flannel shirt gourmet knows this isn't porn. It's preparation for a marriage proposal.
I dunno. I suppose it's possible that she's just really strung out on crack, but her sporadic head movements are nearly identical to that of Marty McFly. I definitely wouldn't put my dick anywhere near her chompers. That'd be like getting a bobo from a bobble head.