How many times have I said gawt dayum, this is the hottest piece of semi-retarded ass since Ellen Page? 487. How many times did I actually mean it? ONCE.
The pinnacle of cinematography.
Floozy blonde sneaks one up her own nasal cavity, but this isn't your typical one trick circus act. From there on, it's a battle of braincells as Joey Bagodonuts goes gonad exploring... and let me tell you, there aint many.
What can be said? She's an independent woman with time to kill & he knows a once in a lifetime opportunity when he sees it. This really couldnt end any other way.
Apparently the whole 'beating my clit purple to the Lion King soundtrack' thing got played out. Now when she wants to gets more coin out of guys named Durwood, she whips the clam out next to family members. #SMRT
This chumpo prefers his women to be on the defensive, specifically ones that have the best set of knockers I've seen this side of Walmart's customer service. And I swear, its the only ICP-fan sex tape you'll fap to today.
A coworker at Little Caesars once told me she used the side of a Redbull can to pleasure herself. She said the feeling of her deep-dish pizza bowl being grinded made her cum instantaneously. Is that what's going on here?
The definitive collection (read: 20) of defective women that french fry'd when they should've pizza'd. Perhaps I'm the minority, but I'm seeing reasons to get caught robbing a 7-11 w/ my penis out across the board here.
A beautiful face can make up for anything: Political strangleholds, war refugee negotiations, type 1 genital warts. But this girl? She's a weapon of mass erectile dysfunction and I don't know whether to fuck or flee...
Mia Khalifa: Pornstar of the millennium, and the only confirmed female to cause more havoc in the middle east than virgin cattle. She gets more death threats in a week than my mailbox gets bulldyke hatemail. #HOT
You get the pampered cute girls that are able to toss their own salads. What a magical combination that is.
Five foot nothing and 90 pounds, her interests include league of legends, dubstep and taking dick meant for women with hips better built for cock/children. I'd marry this one.