To label him a 'minute man' would be the compliment of the decade. Betty Jo Lou Lynn can't even shift into 4th gear before getting splattered. 1 Mexican avalanche after another, and he's spazzing out like a white girl at Coachella.
She twerks like her uterus is having a seizure until dude blows 3-cheese Velveeta... then continues. Chances of feeling this IRL? Zero. But the jealousy is legit. Some serious physics happening on that ass. How the fuck...
4/5 lesbian doctors would advise against stabbing her in the lungs. But a life of chronic bronchitis doesn't seem to concern this prodigy. Big risks = big dollarinos. And big dollarinos = more fashionably retarded hats.
She's the Babe Ruth of knob gobbles. I thought I had a pretty extraordinary skillset after making it through a full episode of True Detective without stabbing myself in the face. It's diddly dick compared to this Olympian.
The story of an overachiever and her epic battle with gravity. Lots of ways to bust your nuts here, along with a constant reminder that you'll never know satisfaction like this man. Collapsed fallopian tubes are guaranteed.
There's something captivating about a girl that can inhale with the likes of Snoop Dogg. Her talent screams 'i volunteer on a farm to be near the horses'. Definitely ring material. Definitely first to go belly-button deep.
No stimulation of the prostate. No stunt cock trickery behind the scenes. This is a man that can legitimately multi-gasm from nothing more than a moist orifice and a girl that sounds like Miss Piggy in heat. #flabbergasted