Wow. Being an attention whore really came back to bite this one in the labia minora? How about next time you stick to handing out your patented herpes lollipops, and save the 2nd degree burns for likeigiveafuck.com.
All intimate activities usually come to an end the moment you try dancing the chocolate cha-cha... but not when you're dating this bulletproof butthole. I think FORD TOUGH just unearthed its new spokeswoman.
Sorry aspiring gynecologists of America, his animosity for the cervix > your safety warnings. Could someone please email me when they get real adventurous & she ends up impaled by a pool noodle? I'd appreciate dat.
Piper Perri: The only pornstar's name I've chosen to remember in the past 10 years. Why? Legally a midget, weighs less than one of Leslie Jones' testicles, and when it comes to lethal-grade penis, she's FEARLESS.
Kinda looks like Amy Schumer bred with an antelope. Full-sized liquor bottles work great on women like this, draws attention away from the face... when you drink it. Going Jackie Chan on the uterus is not recommended
An up-close look at the genitalia of Gumby's little sister directly before and after an encounter with TEH CLAW. The resemblance to Big League Chew is top shelf, but unfortunately it only comes in one flavor: Gr8pe H8
Ever roll up next to a Honda Civic so low to the ground it looked like Rick Ross parked his lunch bag on it, and asked yourself: "what did he do with the original suspension?" Well gentleman: Today we get an answer.
A romp in the ol rusty bullet hole goes sour once this underachiever realizes she just accepted a check her starfish can't cash. But blinded by fame and $47, she forges on. Result? Porn that demands a mute button.
7 minutes of practicing selfies, 5 minutes of penetration and 2 regretful seconds of his hamdog getting folded like a beach towel. Yep, I think it's safe to say this is the greatest fuck flick scene k1ds have ever produced.
Who the fuck does this attention whore think she is? The Ronda Rousey of tyrannical sex toys? Needless to say her struggle starts off promising but like people serving me at IHOP, this bitch doesn't even get the tip.
Woah. Being an attention whore really came back to bite this one in the clitoris. How about next year you just stick to watching the bands you wasted $275 to see and save the titty-flashing for igiveafuck.com
Check the last 5 seconds of this video. His penis looks like something off the menu of Wetzel's Pretzel. And yet he fucks on, completely unphased by the penile fracture. I crown thee Techno Viking of sexual intercourse.
There's an easier way to impress a squadron of bros than jumping over a fucking cliff and nearly killing yourself. It's called spreading your legs ya dumb bitch.
Daddy school starts soon. Where's my lucky pencil? Haha eat lead motherfucker.
Mr. Lopez, you have now been upgraded from a broken leg to full paraplegia. Would you like a churro?
Good work officer. He's surely learned his lesson now - riding a bicycle and trying not to pollute the air is simply unacceptable in New York!