I like this girl. She's soft spoken and emotionally reserved. To win her over I'd really have to pull out all the stops - Netflix Desperado, bathe in Suavitel fabric softner, and come to terms with being called silly shit like "papi".
Wow. Being an attention whore really came back to bite this one in the labia minora? How about next time you stick to handing out your patented herpes lollipops, and save the 2nd degree burns for likeigiveafuck.com.
Sorry aspiring gynecologists of America, his animosity for the cervix > your safety warnings. Could someone please email me when they get real adventurous & she ends up impaled by a pool noodle? I'd appreciate dat.
Piper Perri: The only pornstar's name I've chosen to remember in the past 10 years. Why? Legally a midget, weighs less than one of Leslie Jones' testicles, and when it comes to lethal-grade penis, she's FEARLESS.
Kinda looks like Amy Schumer bred with an antelope. Full-sized liquor bottles work great on women like this, draws attention away from the face... when you drink it. Going Jackie Chan on the uterus is not recommended
An up-close look at the genitalia of Gumby's little sister directly before and after an encounter with TEH CLAW. The resemblance to Big League Chew is top shelf, but unfortunately it only comes in one flavor: Gr8pe H8
How this wide receiver was aroused enough to jizz like Mentos in a Coke bottle is beyond me. The anal is dry, the object is titanic and what's left behind looks like already-chewed Bubble Tape Gum. Strawberry flavor.
Who the fuck does this attention whore think she is? The Ronda Rousey of tyrannical sex toys? Needless to say her struggle starts off promising but like people serving me at IHOP, this bitch doesn't even get the tip.
Raquel Balboa turns this guy's egg sac into her own personal speed bag. I mean straight up going Mr. Miyagi on his hangers without breaking a sweat. A video hasn't made me clench so tightly since this classic.
Not-so-amateur girl experiences all but necrophilia in a sex tape that would raise the eyebrow of an Israeli commando. Pretty impressive stuff TBH, but still world's away from the damage THIS WIDOWMAKER CAN DO.
Woah. Being an attention whore really came back to bite this one in the clitoris. How about next year you just stick to watching the bands you wasted $275 to see and save the titty-flashing for igiveafuck.com
Check the last 5 seconds of this video. His penis looks like something off the menu of Wetzel's Pretzel. And yet he fucks on, completely unphased by the penile fracture. I crown thee Techno Viking of sexual intercourse.