My first 'pay-to-play' was in a McD toilet stall. She was more Kurt Perry than Katy Perry, pretty foul. Not even a replay of Heather Graham's bush in Boogie Nights changed the mood. But... if I had this guy's attitude? Life would be different.
Wow. Being an attention whore really came back to bite this one in the labia minora? How about next time you stick to handing out your patented herpes lollipops, and save the 2nd degree burns for likeigiveafuck.com.
Sorry aspiring gynecologists of America, his animosity for the cervix > your safety warnings. Could someone please email me when they get real adventurous & she ends up impaled by a pool noodle? I'd appreciate dat.
Piper Perri: The only pornstar's name I've chosen to remember in the past 10 years. Why? Legally a midget, weighs less than one of Leslie Jones' testicles, and when it comes to lethal-grade penis, she's FEARLESS.
An up-close look at the genitalia of Gumby's little sister directly before and after an encounter with TEH CLAW. The resemblance to Big League Chew is top shelf, but unfortunately it only comes in one flavor: Gr8pe H8
Who the fuck does this attention whore think she is? The Ronda Rousey of tyrannical sex toys? Needless to say her struggle starts off promising but like people serving me at IHOP, this bitch doesn't even get the tip.
Raquel Balboa turns this guy's egg sac into her own personal speed bag. I mean straight up going Mr. Miyagi on his hangers without breaking a sweat. A video hasn't made me clench so tightly since this classic.
Not-so-amateur girl experiences all but necrophilia in a sex tape that would raise the eyebrow of an Israeli commando. Pretty impressive stuff TBH, but still world's away from the damage THIS WIDOWMAKER CAN DO.
Check the last 5 seconds of this video. His penis looks like something off the menu of Wetzel's Pretzel. And yet he fucks on, completely unphased by the penile fracture. I crown thee Techno Viking of sexual intercourse.