Some women require foreplay to get off. Others, Chili's 2 for $20 menu. And then there's Delma Dickstorm, who takes no less than 11 taco hammers to reach her O-face. That's marriage material if I've ever seen it.
Intoxicated skank gives her best hootenanny to a guy that gets more enthusiastic about colonoscopies. Sorry Briellalynn, Ordinance 175-D41 strictly prohibits citizens from acquiring chlamydia twice in the same month.
Downside of marrying prostitutes from russiabride.com? Every dick in a three-mile radius is using your 9-5 to unload some nut sac gazpacho on your S/O. And don't even get me started on those ridiculous storage fees.
Deprived girl volunteers her noodle bowl on Craigslist to anyone w/ legs, free of charge. But instead of spacing out the locally unemployed, she hits one after another w/o as much as a Summer's Eve bath in between. #RIP
Scope 6:53: The thing u see on this douche-a-roonie's cock is called beading. Defined as: Body modification to boost sexual stimulation, and increase right-swipes on GRINDR. Dude straight up bedazzled his pork sword.
There's only 2 people that should never be caught doing the forbidden fox trot: Lindsay Lohan in her 'i'll snort Clorox' phase, and this girl. She's 19-years-old, anti-semen and dumber than a second coat of paint.
Two mugs worth of Germany's finest lagers, and this ladies mouth turns into a portable glory hole. I'm talking blowjobs, community service style. So disgraceful you'd think she was running for president of the US and A.
Gotta like how amateur sex taping has rapidly evolved from basic vaginal perforation, into WHO CAN GIVE MY GIRLFRIEND AN STD 1ST. I can't even consider it porn. This is a stranger danger public service announcement.
3:00 A.M. knob job goes from 'radical' to 'let's make a deal' as Danny Bonadouchbag's best buddy tries to renegotiate a verbally-binding contract, mid-herpes transmission. My personal vote for Wingman of 2016.
The video is buried under 371 thumbnails. That's gay. What's not gay is convincing your lady to 'keep going' after she's tasted her Baconator for the second time. So raise your RC Cola to the man that did just that.
Nothing spells W-H-O-R-E like a half dozen servings of Bavarian creme. FACTS: She has not, and will not say no to any dick, contraceptive is restricted, and shame? Well... that's as alien to her as deodorant in Mumbai.
Sleazy German gets injected with enough farm-fresh penis pudding to short circuit Bill Cosby. Followed by a shit-eating grin across her face. Some seriously thrilling ways to lose your Fruit Loops in this one folks. Promise.