Surprise

  • Scarred For Life (HAHA)

    Scarred For Life (HAHA)

    Tokens donated, new toy tested and deciding to work 2 hours removed from Chipotle's free guacamole day... what can go wrong? Hint: it's shaped like a bratwurst, has no speed limit & smells like a girl that listens to ICP.

    Date: 03/27/17 Views: 107,389 Category: Surprise

  • WOT? She DEMANDS Anal?

    WOT? She DEMANDS Anal?

    There's a pretty darn good reason why she prefers the season pass on the mahogany mud slide. A darn good reason indeed. 3 dollarinos and my slightly used Xena: Warrior princess sex doll await if you guess what it is.

    Date: 01/29/17 Views: 186,584 Category: Surprise

  • Unexpected ASS-to-Mouth

    Unexpected ASS-to-Mouth

    Antonio gets a little too caught up in the moment and tries to double-down his money with a nimble A-T-M maneuver. Turns out the poo poo a la carte is not much appreciated by his lady friend. Mission success.

    Date: 12/30/16 Views: 184,178 Category: Surprise

  • "show me your penis"

    "show me your penis"

    Is this a genuine proposition? No. What you should really be asking is: If Amy Schumer was to crowbar open her whisker biscuit, would it be comparable to the consistency of pulling apart a peanut butter sandwich?

    Date: 12/13/16 Views: 186,036 Category: Surprise

  • Romantic Moment RUINED

    Romantic Moment RUINED

    Pretty embarrassing eh? Too bad thats no amateur. It's Molly Jane double dippin the biscuit. Haven't heard of her yet? I'll just say this: That mouth has seen more controversial dick in public than New Years' Rockin Eve.

    Date: 07/27/16 Views: 178,942 Category: Surprise

  • Overconfident Girl Learns a Lesson

    Overconfident Girl Learns a Lesson

    If only he put as much effort in his camera equipment, as he did in forcing volcanic yogurt explosions, maybe we wouldn't be jacking off to Sega CD-quality full motion video right now. Up your game motherfucker.

    Date: 07/16/16 Views: 165,850 Category: Surprise

  • "That wasn't on your TINDER profile"

    "That wasn't on your TINDER profile"

    If anything my tenure in porno has taught me, it's all Asian women a.) squeal like a chipmunk in a blender or b.) hang closer to the knee than Andrew Lloyd Webber. You're just gonna have to 50/50 chance this one.

    Date: 06/01/16 Views: 153,581 Category: Surprise

  • Wrong Way Josè!

    Wrong Way Josè!

    Kinda looks like Dana Scully & the expression @ 6:52 is all the boner food I'll need today. But this isn't for lulz. More for awareness. By always cocking to the left, this is the closest a straight man will ever get to NASCAR.

    Date: 04/23/16 Views: 231,891 Category: Surprise

  • Kinda Looks Like John Lennon

    Kinda Looks Like John Lennon

    Everything looks great at first... real great. But 3.9 minutes in, it becomes pretty apparent why most of this video is filmed from the neck downward. Tits by Brazzers, haircut by the three fucking stooges LOL

    Date: 09/17/15 Views: 120,461 Category: Surprise

  • Now You're a Man!

    Now You're a Man!

    Being held hostage by a post-op a-hole? Sounds like his birthday came early. That is, until he realizes this culo hits like Mike Tyson on payday. The aroma of quepapas may fade, but the complimentary rhinoplasty is forever.

    Date: 06/30/15 Views: 120,210 Category: Surprise

  • HEY, THAT'S MY PUSSY!

    HEY, THAT'S MY PUSSY!

    It's all fun & games until you give a 27-year-old YOLO enthusiast a colossal erection. He was given 0 access to the fur burger, he went for the 2 finger handshake. Some call it sexual assault. I prefer "breaking the ice".

    Date: 06/16/15 Views: 170,783 Category: Surprise

  • This is Why I Have Trust Issues

    This is Why I Have Trust Issues

    Ass like Nicki Minaj? Shameless, nude self-promotion on Twitter? The majority of you have already clicked by now, without catching a view of the churro de maricon dangling up front. If you must blame, blame yourself.

    Date: 04/25/15 Views: 149,278 Category: Surprise