Surprise

  • SORRY, NOT SORRY

    SORRY, NOT SORRY

    Never have I seen a man do something so disrespectful with such grace. Where there's shame, he shows honor. Where there's suffering, he brings comfort. And where there's romance, well... he really doesn't GAF, HAHA.

    Date: 10/13/17 Views: 109,932 Category: Surprise

  • She Almost Cried (LOL)

    She Almost Cried (LOL)

    A quick romp in the ole' spaghetti house goes south once this derpo realizes she needs to reevaluate her choice in birth control. But blinded by peer pressure & $1.75, she goes on. The result? A Tampax commercial.

    Date: 10/02/17 Views: 96,246 Category: Surprise

  • Deplorables

    Deplorables

    Fresh off a Walmonster shift and new to the porn scene, this hillbilly combo carve themselves right into the animal kingdom. An unfortunately accurate title for what's (probably) the biggest gag-inducer you'll witness all day.

    Date: 09/25/17 Views: 112,093 Category: Surprise

  • Public Flashing, UNEXPECTED Ending

    Public Flashing, UNEXPECTED Ending

    Tina Belcher's safe space gets invaded by some dude taking his mushroom to the park, but accidentally found love instead. Does she: 1) Call da police 2) trade gazpacho recipes or c) take Shia Ladork's advice. This ones easy.

    Date: 08/31/17 Views: 167,954 Category: Surprise

  • WOT? She DEMANDS Anal?

    WOT? She DEMANDS Anal?

    There's a pretty darn good reason why she prefers the season pass on the mahogany mud slide. A darn good reason indeed. 3 dollarinos and my slightly used Xena: Warrior princess sex doll await if you guess what it is.

    Date: 01/29/17 Views: 197,551 Category: Surprise

  • Unexpected ASS-to-Mouth

    Unexpected ASS-to-Mouth

    Antonio gets a little too caught up in the moment and tries to double-down his money with a nimble A-T-M maneuver. Turns out the poo poo a la carte is not much appreciated by his lady friend. Mission success.

    Date: 12/30/16 Views: 194,569 Category: Surprise

  • "show me your penis"

    "show me your penis"

    Is this a genuine proposition? No. What you should really be asking is: If Amy Schumer was to crowbar open her whisker biscuit, would it be comparable to the consistency of pulling apart a peanut butter sandwich?

    Date: 12/13/16 Views: 197,095 Category: Surprise

  • Romantic Moment RUINED

    Romantic Moment RUINED

    Pretty embarrassing eh? Too bad thats no amateur. It's Molly Jane double dippin the biscuit. Haven't heard of her yet? I'll just say this: That mouth has seen more controversial dick in public than New Years' Rockin Eve.

    Date: 07/27/16 Views: 183,969 Category: Surprise

  • Overconfident Girl Learns a Lesson

    Overconfident Girl Learns a Lesson

    If only he put as much effort in his camera equipment, as he did in forcing volcanic yogurt explosions, maybe we wouldn't be jacking off to Sega CD-quality full motion video right now. Up your game motherfucker.

    Date: 07/16/16 Views: 170,306 Category: Surprise

  • "That wasn't on your TINDER profile"

    "That wasn't on your TINDER profile"

    If anything my tenure in porno has taught me, it's all Asian women a.) squeal like a chipmunk in a blender or b.) hang closer to the knee than Andrew Lloyd Webber. You're just gonna have to 50/50 chance this one.

    Date: 06/01/16 Views: 156,641 Category: Surprise

  • Wrong Way Josè!

    Wrong Way Josè!

    Kinda looks like Dana Scully & the expression @ 6:52 is all the boner food I'll need today. But this isn't for lulz. More for awareness. By always cocking to the left, this is the closest a straight man will ever get to NASCAR.

    Date: 04/23/16 Views: 236,117 Category: Surprise

  • Kinda Looks Like John Lennon

    Kinda Looks Like John Lennon

    Everything looks great at first... real great. But 3.9 minutes in, it becomes pretty apparent why most of this video is filmed from the neck downward. Tits by Brazzers, haircut by the three fucking stooges LOL

    Date: 09/17/15 Views: 122,953 Category: Surprise

  • The Courteous Roommate

    The Courteous Roommate

    bro...

    Date: 08/10/15 Views: 158,342 Category: Surprise

  • Now You're a Man!

    Now You're a Man!

    Being held hostage by a post-op a-hole? Sounds like his birthday came early. That is, until he realizes this culo hits like Mike Tyson on payday. The aroma of quepapas may fade, but the complimentary rhinoplasty is forever.

    Date: 06/30/15 Views: 121,885 Category: Surprise

  • DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING!

    DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING!

    Sexual sideshow derailed when a stripper makes an unexpected visit to La'Vons dirt dungeon. Life Lesson #293: When someone writes hoop dreams on their BlackPeopleMeet profile, it's not always about basktball.

    Date: 06/24/15 Views: 186,227 Category: Surprise

  • HEY, THAT'S MY PUSSY!

    HEY, THAT'S MY PUSSY!

    It's all fun & games until you give a 27-year-old YOLO enthusiast a colossal erection. He was given 0 access to the fur burger, he went for the 2 finger handshake. Some call it sexual assault. I prefer "breaking the ice".

    Date: 06/16/15 Views: 174,381 Category: Surprise

  • This is Why I Have Trust Issues

    This is Why I Have Trust Issues

    Ass like Nicki Minaj? Shameless, nude self-promotion on Twitter? The majority of you have already clicked by now, without catching a view of the churro de maricon dangling up front. If you must blame, blame yourself.

    Date: 04/25/15 Views: 150,975 Category: Surprise