I guess having sex isn't considered "challenging" when someone has the alcohol tolerance of a vienna sausage. Lesson learned: Never try to impress a girl that's probably used the neighbor's cat as toilet paper. #germany
Never have I seen a man do something so disrespectful with such grace. Where there's shame, he shows honor. Where there's suffering, he brings comfort. And where there's romance, well... he really doesn't GAF, HAHA.
A quick romp in the ole' spaghetti house goes south once this derpo realizes she needs to reevaluate her choice in birth control. But blinded by peer pressure & $1.75, she goes on. The result? A Tampax commercial.
Tina Belcher's safe space gets invaded by some dude taking his mushroom to the park, but accidentally found love instead. Does she: 1) Call da police 2) trade gazpacho recipes or c) take Shia Ladork's advice. This ones easy.
Is this a genuine proposition? No. What you should really be asking is: If Amy Schumer was to crowbar open her whisker biscuit, would it be comparable to the consistency of pulling apart a peanut butter sandwich?
If only he put as much effort in his camera equipment, as he did in forcing volcanic yogurt explosions, maybe we wouldn't be jacking off to Sega CD-quality full motion video right now. Up your game motherfucker.
If anything my tenure in porno has taught me, it's all Asian women a.) squeal like a chipmunk in a blender or b.) hang closer to the knee than Andrew Lloyd Webber. You're just gonna have to 50/50 chance this one.
Kinda looks like Dana Scully & the expression @ 6:52 is all the boner food I'll need today. But this isn't for lulz. More for awareness. By always cocking to the left, this is the closest a straight man will ever get to NASCAR.
Being held hostage by a post-op a-hole? Sounds like his birthday came early. That is, until he realizes this culo hits like Mike Tyson on payday. The aroma of quepapas may fade, but the complimentary rhinoplasty is forever.
Sexual sideshow derailed when a stripper makes an unexpected visit to La'Vons dirt dungeon. Life Lesson #293: When someone writes hoop dreams on their BlackPeopleMeet profile, it's not always about basktball.
Ass like Nicki Minaj? Shameless, nude self-promotion on Twitter? The majority of you have already clicked by now, without catching a view of the churro de maricon dangling up front. If you must blame, blame yourself.