If everybody is born with a gift, hers is performing acts of infidelity without as much as a trace of last night's double serving of guacamole streaked onto the finest imported vegan leather. That's gotta be worth something to somebody.
Always the same setup with these Clydesdales: Find a soft 7, then time it just right to bust a nut while asking for directions to Wetzel Pretzel. Today is no exception.
Getting blown out within shouting distance of your HOA'd neighbors is a pretty bold move. Actually, it's one of superiority. Nancy and her 13 cats will most definitely think twice about filing a noise complaint at the next board meeting.
Don't let the optimistic smiles fool you. This social media misfit has less concern for the ringus around her bingus than a unionized construction worker on his lunch break. aka damage is imminent. Oh well. Try your best, DLSS5 the rest.
Not every day someones title has me scratching all three nuts in bewilderment. But "Dumb Flashlight with Cow Tits" is a choice. Not even all 32 volumes of Encyclopedia Britannica are any help and my disappointment is immeasurable.
An avalanche of tits that the most experienced mountain climbers would struggle with. Pair that with a gash that doesn't look like it's been one of the victims of Haddonfield and you're working with some triple A prime beef slab my friend.
Is it me or is it kinda weird when OF girls start collabing? Like what the fuck is the intro message for this behavior? "wanna fly in to our state so we can share a plate of my boyfriend's asshole and charge people $27 dollars a month to watch?"
Her [entire account] is bizarre imo. She clearly has an affinity for being POV-defiled inside the mudd trumpet but can't be arsed to spend more than $14.oo (USD) on a better quality camera. Black Friday Pofegistka, mark your calendar.
Harry Hipster and his double-F sized bunkmate channel their inner 2009 vlog creator and bring us a side of am-porn nobody asked for. You'll have to improvise the aroma of cedarwood and deep fried asshole to really hammer this one home.
"Uber rideshare is a service where everyday drivers use their own personal cars to give people rides. You request, track, and pay for a ride using a smartphone app. There is also an option called Uber Share where you split a car with strangers."
Stewart and his local Dungeons and Dragons chapter approach your wife with their war drums out, looking for an impromptu handicap match. What do you do?
Honestly, I'm shocked. And by shocked I mean quietly contemplating how much longer it will take social media to completely remove all empathetic reasoning from the human genome. Direct all your body fluids accordingly. More [here]
We've [seen] this [girl] before. And 27 million collective views later it seems she still hasn't figured out what a carbohydrate is. Prince Devitt would be vry proud.
Imagine coming home during the witching hour only to find your significant other kneeling down, thorax-deep on Jamal's chopped cheese. (The Harlem original)
If her facial expressions look familiar to you, then you too have felt the sweet kiss of Red Lobster's endless shrimp platter. A feeling taken from us all way too soon...
