Almost feels like the b-roll footage out of a semi modern day slasher flick. He's gonna feel about as awkward as the brown dude every time Captain Planet came on screen begging for help once he realizes his cock is all over 3% of the Internet.
If this is peak of modern day problem solving, I'm just a tad bit worried about the future. As well as the egregious depreciation of dollar menu value. #uvotedforthis
Just when you think it's safe to love again. edit: That isn't the fucking video I originally linked to. Listen champs, I don't need your help to be made a fool of. My lifetime ban from every Denny's handicap stall in the country does that for me.
One sudden move makes those lips swing around like a Basset Hound's ears during a tropical storm, and you want us to believe David's mini Twinkie is a threat to you? Keep the bullshit on TikTok, Becky - we're not buying it today.
Camgirl Porn: Sometimes these chicks are as exciting as an audio book of Newt Gingrich customizing a bowl at Chipotle. But throw in a pair of glasses and a girl that pays the vagisil bill with e-tokens, and it becomes a legend in the making.
Perhaps "marriage" is the wrong goal here, as it suggests she would actually cover up and stop shilling for Reddit updoots. And that never happens. Trust me on these topics; I've been behind a Walmart parking lot on a Saturday night.
Blatant use of PAWGism, Nokia flip phone pixelation and enough BBC to demand a licensing fee in the United Kingdom. In other words; This video has more substance than my toilet after a vegan dinner special. Watch twice, take notes.
Guaranteed to confirm every snowbunny story you ever heard. Don't be fooled by the aroma of pumpkin spice, these blanco ninas are certified horse cock herders.
Oh snap, Shooshtime got a new layout and a metric shit-ton of new vids? Perfect timing considering the Pornhub Purge has left many cumsocks abandoned these past few months. Hane's triple pack of striped tubes thanks you for your service.
She may come up short on words, but those facial expressions definitely tell a story. Specifically "yup, this is my life now", "i hope i get Instagram followers" and my personal favorite: "do i rly fuck like a piece of expired celery?" P.S. NICE ASS
6 months into corona virus lockdowns and this guy may have very well come up with the best pastime yet. That is... until someone finds my recipe for Skittlebrau and starts hitting me with those sweet, sweet royalties. #callme Anheuser-Busch
Those deflated pigskins look pretty raw for a 22-year-old. 0:30 secs in she says her goal is to 'make it in the adult industry'. Lady, unless you're talking about fluffing, that journey ends today. Points for bringing Moesha for the ride tho.
Amateur Meme Porn: Sometimes it's about as exciting as an audio book of Ted Cruz customizing a value meal at Burger King. But throw in a girl with 2 moms and pays her vagisil bill with Venmo tips, and suddenly you got faps for days.
Certainly no Scarlett Johnanson. But what she lacks in beauty and natural born talent, she makes up for in... well... jack shit. Girl is literally useless. Sitting there acting like she's being forced to watch Amy Schumer do standup at gunpoint.
The best part of keeping a travel-sized Thai-hole on your payroll? Budget banging no matter how "eco-friendly" your $17/night hotel room is for starters. Also AIDS.
Apparently semi-professional fornicators have acquired some sort of dignity? Back in my day that hotel room door would have been unlocked, opened and inviting all migrants to participate in the three-handled family grudunzle.
Don't be misled by the Victoria's Secret attire and willingness to film. She may resemble that waitress at Denny's you wanted to fuck in dad's El Camino... but trust me - there isn't enough blackmarket dick pills to hammer through this one.
You just can't go back after this. She'll forever be known as the super THOT of Bumblefuck Alabama. She's essentially a walking, twitching Reddit activist for open sexuality... yet stays in good spirit knowing this vid is going straight to IG.
Today we learn three crucial things, so grab your colored pencils and pay attention: #1: Voyeurism is alive and well #2: Sexual misconduct is always negotiable. And #3: Lifetime bans from Macy's aren't a big deal. Lets get it.
