A blonde in the education field that ends up servicing the bagpipes on a shitty cellphone vid? That sentence alone is so predictable it might as well be part of the tenure. But she'll need practice to reach this level.
lmao @ dude being more interested in not puking up all 12 Jagerbombs, instead than questioning why a Peeping Thomas is archiving footage of his newest STD acquisition. F'n priorities man, shit just got real in New Jersey.
So, fuck whoever said having vested interest in your community is for fags. This lady's 11:00AM stakeout just netted her enough Tier-1 mental imagery to fuel her faps all the way to next year's Labor Day. Way to score Stacy!
The geyser has reached max pressure and not 1 heck is given. She jams, she crams, she marks that bench like her bloodline has cocker spaniel in it. It's going good until Captain DickSchwinn makes an appearance. (3:03)
Unforgivable. More unforgivable than the time I urinated 2 pints of Mr. Pibb into a Burger King drive-thru window after a spirited night of Chinese prostitutes and xanex tabs. Actually no... that was awesome. This guy sucks.
This is harder to see than Bill Cosby after a martini. So you need to pay attention... and if you figure out why a female decided the Pump House indoor waterpark shithouse was the place to do this, holla atchya boi.
MFC alumni's safe space gets invaded by some dude hunting a Pikachu, but found a couple of Jigglypuff's instead. Does she: a) 911 b) trade casserole recipes or c) invite him to be part of the felony. This ones easy.
5 secs. That's how long it takes for 1 order of mango shrimp to cannonball it's way out of my body, and back to the ocean. It's also the amount of time it takes the poster girl for "LOLIDGAF" to give her seal of approval.
LIFE LESSON #273: If your idea of a good time involves Infinity, Toyota or Fiat, keep your snatch out of retail parking lots. The guy who gave you type 2 genital herpes is temporary. Videos like this one are forever.
Spend $99 on camera equipment and suddenly you're the new face of humiliation porn. Do I believe this is real? No. Would I promise her my mini freezer full of Gorton's fishsticks to make a sequel? It's a solid maybe.
Maybe 'denied' is the wrong word, as it implies this shit faced Casanova was actually going to make contact before Deputy Dickbag appeared. It wasn't happening. Trust me. I've been to Burger King on a Friday night.
Intrusion @ 10:05. And whats our guys reaction? Going Wayne & Garth on his ashamed costar. Don't feel too bad lady. Seeing as I just beat off to the 8 seconds of your howler monkey mother, you're still in the limelight.
Sorry ladies. His sworn duty to uphold the integrity of Scuttlebutt's Twat Tavern > your breadbox munchies. TBH it's refreshing to know that women too can be cockblocked. It's all about equality on Inhumanity.com
Here it is. The Citizen Kane of why did I get stuck with Mr. Feeny and not 1 of these desperate sex offenders for algebra. Actually, I'm not sure The Feen taught math, but I trust the mental image is all the same.
Let's hope dude is better at guarding the food court than he is at laying pipe. Because after 38 seconds of vaginal contact, the show is over. No embarrassment, no questions. Just 1 federali multitasking like the boss.
Aspiring English professor by day, MFC trainee by... mid-day. Apparently this is legit, but I have skepticism like Tom Cruise has homosexuality. Despite the location and her reasonably-priced cardigan I still call bullshit.
Becky shits herself upon realizing her next appearance on Instagram won't be pretty. I haven't seen such an intense look of confusion and despair since that time I got caught beta testing display toilets at Home Depot.
He's got a 7.5 inch ham slammer and she dances like Jennifer Lopez after an afternoon at the gynecologist. Some people out there might say this cut off before the best part. I say mom did them a fucking favor.
The downside of being 24 and still living at home? Besides the 7:00AM line for toaster strudel, every time you're about to evacuate some homemade alfredo sauce onto your GF's back, momma comes a' knockin.
I like how he's more interested in his 50% off Mimi's Cafe coupon rather than questioning why the fuck his 18 year old daughter is dancing naked in front of the family webcam. Fuckin 50% off dude, shit just got real.
Hefty Hank gets caught fappin to animal porn by his wife's new BFF. Always a gentleman, Hank is quick to excuse his behavior & greet the young lady - by shaking her hand with the same hand he just jizzed in.
Dude gets called over to a changing room to assist a random slutty with her bikini. After she briefly leaves, he relishes the moment and starts beating off while the smell of her cunt is still in the air. You da man.