Molly Ringwald is about 3.5 seconds away from blooming her onion when daddy comes-a-knockin. Fake? Yes. Do I play the Breakfast Club soundtrack and spill hand mayonnaise on the floor like the McDonald's night-shift anyway? Yes.
A penis that needs it's own life boat, and an insanely high tolerance for pain. If there ever was an instructional video on why to lock the fucking door in public places, I'd declare these two just laid the groundwork for a sequel.
This is bad. More bad than the time I emptied $27 worth of Wendy's value meals into the plastic case of Ninja Turtles III: The Manhattan Project for NES and slipped it in a Blockbuster drop-box. Wait no, that was priceless.
Sociopaths are called psychopaths but there are differences. Psychopathy can be thought of as a more severe form of sociopathy w/ more symptoms. All psychopaths are sociopaths but sociopaths are not always psychopaths.
It's all fun n' games until your pre-planned window of jack off time gets commandeered. Humiliation hits these tards like a sac of Power Rangers VHS tapes, but some of them refuse to quit. Essentially redefining 'integrity'.
To my ever growing .07% female viewers: put on your bifocals and pay the fuck attention. This is what u DON'T do before getting married. Stay classy & save the dick-crazed cluster fuck swap parties for college girls and India.
Interruption @10:06. And whats our heroes reaction? Going Wayne & Garth on his bashful costar. Don't feel too bad lady. Seeing as I just beat off to the 8 seconds of your howler monkey mother, you're still a star in my book.
Gotta respect a guy that's more interested in his 50% Off Panda Express coupon, than questioning why his 18-year-old daughter is naked in front of the family webcam. Balancing priorities are an integral part of fatherhood.
Did flashing interns at the local 7-11 becoming a challenge or something? Apparently this winner prefers cleaning ladies. Specifically the types that have to bleachthe shit stains out of Walmart porcelain. C - L - A - S - S - Y
Great taste in women, poor taste in location. Two words homie: Chipotle Bathroom. At least in there indeterminable body fluids are a common sight, and it doesn't ruin the ending of Moby Dick you abhorrent, free-balling fuck.
Certainly not the first time an educator has turned her tuna dugout into the extra credit project, but she is one of the hottest. Rarely do I say this, but she's one cunt hair away from a supersize on my dime. Call me in 5-10?
So, fuck whoever said having vested interest in your community is for fags. This lady's 11:00AM stakeout just netted her enough Tier-1 mental imagery to fuel her faps all the way to next year's Labor Day. Way to score Stacy!
At first I was like cool, another fake vid I'm subjecting my tube sock to. I was convinced... up until all 24 yrs of bad decision making washed over her in half a sec. You can't fabricate that kind of embarrassment. #HOT
Unforgivable. More unforgivable than the time I urinated 2 pints of Mr. Pibb into a Burger King drive-thru window after a spirited night of Chinese prostitutes and xanex tabs. Actually no... that was awesome. This guy sucks.
What's that saying? Once you go black you almost lose your uterus in a domestic fight, get ejected from your tiki hut, and see the business end of a Ginsu knife? Cuz that's exactly what happened here. Shit's fucked yo.
As if coming home to a dinner plate full of rice and fried octopus anus wasn't bad enough, Dik tu Small has to lay the smackdown on a woman that isn't content with a single spring roll. The hardships of the working man.
LIFE LESSON #273: If your idea of a good time involves Infinity, Toyota or Fiat, keep your snatch out of retail parking lots. The guy who gave you type 2 genital herpes is temporary. Videos like this one are forever.
Quite possibly the most egregious abuse of power to ever grace my 14" Compaq Presario computer monitor. Mind you, this is coming from a guy that's sat through all 73 mins of Edward Penishands. My voice matters.
Spend $99 on camera equipment and suddenly you're the new face of humiliation porn. Do I believe this is real? No. Would I promise her my mini freezer full of Gorton's fishsticks to make a sequel? It's a solid maybe.
Maybe 'denied' is the wrong word, as it implies this shit faced Casanova was actually going to make contact before Deputy Dickbag appeared. It wasn't happening. Trust me. I've been to Burger King on a Friday night.
Sorry ladies. His sworn duty to uphold the integrity of Scuttlebutt's Twat Tavern > your breadbox munchies. TBH it's refreshing to know that women too can be cockblocked. It's all about equality on Inhumanity.com
Here it is. The Citizen Kane of why did I get stuck with Mr. Feeny and not 1 of these desperate sex offenders for algebra. Actually, I'm not sure The Feen taught math, but I trust the mental image is all the same.
Let's hope dude is better at guarding the food court than he is at laying pipe. Because after 38 seconds of vaginal contact, the show is over. No embarrassment, no questions. Just 1 federali multitasking like the boss.
Pina Colada aficionado zones out her surroundings just long enough to focus on more important things. I.E. getting power-fucked by Travis Barker. I vote sequel. 1 where Pedro & Co. go CARNAVAL on dat cinnamon ring.