Funny how porn has evolved from basic penetration, into an ambitious race to see who's more willing to donate their genitals to medical research. She's Melody Marks and she just gave my wiener reason to watch The Walking Dead again.
I was spaghetti soft until the camera panned 12 inches south. Fucking hell, this chick is 1 injection of anesthesia away from experimental cornhole surgery & she's rippin one out like the lifeboats were deployed. I'm in love?
LIFE LESSON #237: If someone uses the word negotiable in their Craigslist ad - move the fuck on to the next one or prepare to doomsday prep on Valtrex & Clorox bleach. Discounts are temporary. War-torn genitals arent.
[tip: scroll to bottom of page for link] You know that thin piece of skin that separates the inside of a vagina from the rusty turntable? Well, her two costars just accidentally thrusted straight fucking through it. #diapers4life
This guy has a unique style. It's 1 part Tom Savini, 17 parts Jeffrey Dahmer. If any of you are the betting type, I've got the entire 3rd season of The Martin Lawrence show on VHS that says those snatch flies @ 0:16 mark are legit.
If you've been gifted the genitalia of a hamster, it's best to break the ice through other means. Such as a political anecdote, or shitting ur pants for example. Both yield better odds of gettin laid than what this turd did HAHA
Intimate look at what's happening on LGBTQIAXL2^POOPEMOJI-friendly college campuses across planet. No filters, just the top of a cheerleader and bottom of Warren Buffet comin for dem tendies. The human race is dead.
As if whoring his girlfriend out to multiplestrangers on Tinder isn't bad enough, this roody poo cuckaboo discovers a new way to bloom in the garden of STD's. Except this time, they're actually out of their element, lol.
Props to guy laying pipe. I haven't heard a teenager whine that ambiguously since that time I was caught defecating in the Blockbuster drop-box in protest to late fees on my rental of Johnny Mnemonic. FULL SCENE HERE
Want proof that humans are all about charity? Look no further friendo. This charitable fuck offers a nervous local the ultimate handout - a free play on his wife's arcade box. It's generosity like this that really warms my heart.
Wife has second thoughts about the butthole boogaloo, right as he's about to shoot some tadpoles at the moon. But there's no escape, she voluntarily submits. In other words: This is a PSA on the importance of communication.
If physical pain at all plays a role in the enjoyment a person feels, I would estimate Rocketta Balboa here is hovering in between 'Level 10 Orgasm' and "I got an extra McNugget in my value meal". Ejaculate with caution.
Engineering student? Pill popper? Future E.R. visitor? How about all of the above. Not an ounch of shame either. Which should be expected when your path to orgasm involves one of the rejected Transformers: The MUFFler.
The more colors in her hair, the crazier the bitch is. A simple concept... and one that's officially reinforced thanks to this 97lb puddle slut farming the fuck out. Put it this way: Just watching her gave me Hep-C. It's that serious.
2 tokes of synthetics turn this skalliwag into the Gary Busey of hookups First she bare-asses the pavement. Then she speaks in tongues, in what I can only guess is confessing her sexual attraction to a mailbox. Hit it?
He's built like Despicable Me, and she's got more daddy issues than stripper in her 3rd trimester. It's a sexual disconection, and one that goes from midly interesting, to dude what the fuuuuuuuuuu pretty damn quickly.
Silly swamp monster. You can't whip out 4+ inches of protuberance and continue to call it a vagina. Better hit up the DVD collection and Pirhana 3D that shit before roaming the bar scene. I'm here to help.
All but guaranteed to execute any size-queen fantasies u might've accidentally had after an episode of Keeping Up With the Kuntashians. Don't be fooled by that shit eating grin: Your love of vagina dies here and dies now.
One of Chernobyl's second generation offspring proudly displays his self-described one-eyed tuna trawler, an unfortunately authentic title for what might be the most WTF-worthy video you'll see today. Or not...
What happens when you mix synthetic street drugs, a vagina that smells like diesel and an irritated Latino? Sofia Vergara at a Trump rally. Or this girl. This video needs a sequel like Bruce Jenner needs hedge clippers.