Women nowadays are scared to coast through a Dunkin Donuts drivethru without glazing their faces in 20 minute Youtube makeup tutorials. And then there's these girls... who run out of fucks to give after the 3rd Shirley Temple.
A lottta girls do a lotta desperate ass shit to keep their social media accounts popular... but risking the corona just just to keep buttsludge69 amused? That's a level of hoe-cope I hope to never meet outside of a Papa Johns bathroom stall.
Wouldn't rly be surprised if this was an actual adultery video. I've heard exposing yourself to raw poultry is actually considered a delicacy in this part of the world.
She's not exactly equipped with the poker face of Clint Eastwood. So when the that wasnt a fart reaction washes over her, you know it's authentic. Reminiscent of a reoccurring dream I have involving Lizzo and all 31 flavors of Baskin Robbins
Good ole TikTok. It's like VINE, but more nudity and less dipshits that consider Call of Duty a rights of passage. Also it has Bree Louise's bare ass tit/vajee combo.
Think it's all freshman-year waistlines and Google Translating the cost of a Filipino corncobbing? Think again my stereotyped friend. Your sheckles would be better spent on your sister's braces. At least then you'd cum in under 24 hrs.
What's that old saying again? Once you go black you almost lose your uterus in a domestic street fight, get ejected from your tiki hut, and see the business end of a Ginsu knife? Because... that's exactly what happened here. Shit's fucked up yo.
MFC alumni's safe space gets invaded by some dude hunting a Pikachu, but found a couple of Jigglypuff's instead. Does she: a) 911 b) trade casserole recipes or c) invite him to be part of the felony. This ones easy.
Can't imagine how many security deposits had to be forfeited before she learned how to lock a fucking door. I respect the adrenaline rush, but the only road this behavior leads to is paved with Plan B and apologies. Get Maury on the phone.
Is it real? Is it staged? Nobody ever really knows in the land of modern social media. Not only that, but you can expect your curiosity of who the fuck is cheating on who to peak before the video is over. Today is a learning day.
And by gangbang I mean one single sexually inept man losing his virginity, while Oscar De Lahoya's 2 cousins spectate. Only thing missing is a Mariachi band and that one token black guy repeatedly screaming "wurlstar". Cut and reshoot, thx.
Ever see the movie The Cable Guy'? Me neither, but if they wanted to make a porn spinoff with a heterosexual storyline... it would probably look something like this.
This is bad. More bad than the time I emptied $27 worth of Wendy's value meals into the plastic case of Ninja Turtles III: The Manhattan Project for NES and slipped it in a Blockbuster drop-box. Wait no, that was priceless.
It's all fun n' games until your pre-planned window of jack off time gets commandeered. Humiliation hits these tards like a sac of Power Rangers VHS tapes, but some of them refuse to quit. Essentially redefining 'integrity'.
To my ever growing .07% female viewers: put on your bifocals and pay the fuck attention. This is what u DON'T do before getting married. Stay classy & save the dick-crazed cluster fuck swap parties for college girls and India.
Interruption @10:06. And whats our heroes reaction? Going Wayne & Garth on his bashful costar. Don't feel too bad lady. Seeing as I just beat off to the 8 seconds of your howler monkey mother, you're still a star in my book.
Gotta respect a guy that's more interested in his 50% Off Panda Express coupon, than questioning why his 18-year-old daughter is naked in front of the family webcam. Balancing priorities are an integral part of fatherhood.
Fuck whoever said having vested interest in your community is for losers. This lady's 11:00AM stakeout just netted her enough Tier-1 mental imagery to fuel her faps all the way to next year's Labor Day. Way to score Stacy!
As if coming home to a dinner plate full of rice and fried octopus anus wasn't bad enough, Dik tu Small has to lay the smackdown on a woman that isn't content with a single spring roll. The hardships of the working man.
Spend $99 on camera equipment and suddenly you're the new face of humiliation porn. Do I believe this is real? No. Would I promise her my mini freezer full of Gorton's fishsticks to make a sequel? It's a solid maybe.
Maybe 'denied' is the wrong word, as it implies this shit faced Casanova was actually going to make contact before Deputy Dickbag appeared. It wasn't happening. Trust me. I've been to Burger King on a Friday night.
Sorry ladies. His sworn duty to uphold the integrity of Scuttlebutt's Twat Tavern > your breadbox munchies. TBH it's refreshing to know that women too can be cockblocked. It's all about equality on Inhumanity.com
Let's hope dude is better at guarding the food court than he is at laying pipe. Because after 38 seconds of vaginal contact, the show is over. No embarrassment, no questions. Just 1 federali multitasking like the boss.
He's got a 7.5 inch ham slammer and she dances like Jennifer Lopez after an afternoon at the gynecologist. Some people out there might say this cut off before the best part. I say mom did them a fucking favor.
