There's a very delicate line between casual buttsex, and elbow-deep rusty starfish slaughter. Where that line lives, I don't know... but I can sure as fuck tell you this human blackhole crossed it at the 4:30 mark. GAG
Like my reaction after hearing Oprah Winfrey wants to run for president, you can literally see fear in her eyes. Emphasis on the :24 sec mark with the introduction of a move I can only refer to as The Turkish Can Opener.
Nice technique, but not for beginners. Chances are your slim Jimmy will enter uncharted territories & come out looking like something from Creature from the Brown Lagoon. or Lionel Richie. Choose your own horror story.
I should warn you: Gravity has already won the war. I guess there's still life behind those nipples... but in 3 years TOPS, these things will have no use outside of being stunt doubles in the 3D reboot of Good Burger.
02:53 - "You can fuck the shit out of me now!"
03:05 - [INSTANT REGRET]
03:09 - " I WANT U 2 CUM"
A good boyfriend always greases the scud duck with essential oils from Jarkata prior to admittance. Then there's this alpha bastard... who treats his cock like a great white shark on feeding day. Way to kill the trend.
Olive oil-based hair gel, tit jewelry, all-gold-everything: You'd think a girl with this degree of stereotyping would like pain. TIP: she dont. teh dingdong hits her sphincter like a sac of Aladdin VHS tapes, and then it's ADIOS $$.
Another incident where some introductory pornstar is left with a smoking O-ring cause she failed to follow the #1 rule of dancing the B-hole Boogaloo: Grease keeps the peace. Member that, and you'll always be 'aight.
Buttsex is buttsex, I don't discriminate. But I bet you 5 buckaroos that this scallywag had no idea there was an upside to it. I can literally see her slowly transforming from :| to :D with every uppercut to the pancreas.
Around 1:12 she drops that gem of a line. Listen lady: If you think struggling to catch your breath while a man plunders your shit basket for blood diamonds is amazing, I need to know how you celebrate Hanukkah.
Not since the release of The Human Centipede have I seen a person's genitals put into such a 1-sided battle. She fucked the Terminator of ass rippage, cries real tears & has a stage-walkoff that'd make Axl Rose blush.
Three years of forcing porn producers to scotch guard everything in a 2 mile radius was no problem. But 60 secs of churning butt butter? Game fuckin over. Ladies and gents: I present you the enigma of Asian whores.
From this angle it looks like dude is having sex with an eggplant. But after hearing this chunker bitch up more of a storm than a black woman getting short changed at Golden Corral, I have been convinced otherwise.
This starts off as a painal video, but like me during a Michael Bay movie, that lasts about 8 secs. From then on, it's all pleasure. And by pleasure I mean buttgasms so intensified, Ellen DeGeneres would pop a boner.
He bum rushes, she leaps away: a move this pro saw comin. He returns fire with a full-body thrust & hits the bottom of her gas tank. Reality sets in at 2:38 when she realizes she won the battle, but lost the war HAHA