02:53 - "You can fuck the shit out of me now!"
03:05 - [INSTANT REGRET]
03:09 - " I WANT U 2 CUM"
A good boyfriend always greases the scud duck with essential oils from Jarkata prior to admittance. Then there's this alpha bastard... who treats his cock like a great white shark on feeding day. Way to kill the trend.
Olive oil-based hair gel, tit jewelry, all-gold-everything: You'd think a girl with this degree of stereotyping would like pain. TIP: she dont. teh dingdong hits her sphincter like a sac of Aladdin VHS tapes, and then it's ADIOS $$.
Another incident where some introductory pornstar is left with a smoking O-ring cause she failed to follow the #1 rule of dancing the B-hole Boogaloo: Grease keeps the peace. Member that, and you'll always be 'aight.
Buttsex is buttsex, I don't discriminate. But I bet you 5 buckaroos that this scallywag had no idea there was an upside to it. I can literally see her slowly transforming from :| to :D with every uppercut to the pancreas.
Around 1:12 she drops that gem of a line. Listen lady: If you think struggling to catch your breath while a man plunders your shit basket for blood diamonds is amazing, I need to know how you celebrate Hanukkah.
Not since the release of The Human Centipede have I seen a person's genitals put into such a 1-sided battle. She fucked the Terminator of ass rippage, cries real tears & has a stage-walkoff that'd make Axl Rose blush.
Three years of forcing porn producers to scotch guard everything in a 2 mile radius was no problem. But 60 secs of churning butt butter? Game fuckin over. Ladies and gents: I present you the enigma of Asian whores.
From this angle it looks like dude is having sex with an eggplant. But after hearing this chunker bitch up more of a storm than a black woman getting short changed at Golden Corral, I have been convinced otherwise.
This starts off as a painal video, but like me during a Michael Bay movie, that lasts about 8 secs. From then on, it's all pleasure. And by pleasure I mean buttgasms so intensified, Ellen DeGeneres would pop a boner.
He bum rushes, she leaps away: a move this pro saw comin. He returns fire with a full-body thrust & hits the bottom of her gas tank. Reality sets in at 2:38 when she realizes she won the battle, but lost the war HAHA
This is all but guaranteed to eradicate any story you may have been led to believe about the orifice less traveled. Don't be misled by this man's apathy: Your love of hunting the backyard snapper dies here & now.
She's not exactly equipped with the rectal capacity of Richard Simmons, but the real deal breaker is bitching in broken English. Very reminiscent of a reoccurring dream I keep having involving Sofia Vergara and a billy goat.
I really don't know shit about otaku culture, other than it being the default jack-off material for all overweight people named Leonard and/or Stuart. But go with me anyway: This is the best hate boner you'll get all hour.