Shame this girl doesn't make videos anymore. A damn crying shame. Never again will we see this level of excitement when it comes to colonizing the brown planet. Today's fap will be followed by a moment of silence. RIP.
Lesson Learned: If dude isn't hung like a chinchilla, it may be best to steer him far away from the chocolate volcano. Last time I checked, girls in teh biz didn't have health plans that covered radical reconstructive surgery.
Average Joes aren't the only ones facing resistance when trying to smash the cadburys. Semi-pro pornstars have occupational hazards too. ah well. As long as human toilet paper isn't on the menu, German girls are still bae.
He looks like the kinda guy that sells propane and propane accessories when not preoccupied with WWF pay-per-views, but I shouldn't hate. He has sex with women. I'm still stuck in the tube sock/cottage cheese matrix.
Contrary to appearance, she didn't ask to speak to his manager after serving the Booty-O's. But her tolerance is spent faster than an Asian man's pension in a casino, so dont fret: theres plenty to keep ur corn doggy hard.
11:30 for something this guy hasnt heard since talking about yesterday's lunch trip to Wendy's. She may have the body of a disfigured cleaning lady, but both holes are tight & the mind is wide open. Good enuff for moi.
There's a very delicate line between casual buttsex, and elbow-deep rusty starfish slaughter. Where that line lives, I don't know... but I can sure as fuck tell you this human blackhole crossed it at the 4:30 mark. GAG
Like my reaction after hearing Oprah Winfrey wants to run for president, you can literally see fear in her eyes. Emphasis on the :24 sec mark with the introduction of a move I can only refer to as The Turkish Can Opener.
Nice tech, but not for beginners. Chances are your slim Jimmy will enter uncharted territories & come out looking like something from Creature from the Brown Lagoon. or Lionel Richie. Choose your own horror story.
I should warn you: Gravity has already won the war. I guess there's still life behind those nipples... but in 3 years TOPS, these things will have no use outside of being stunt doubles in the 3D reboot of Good Burger.
Olive oil hair gel, tit jewelry, all-gold-everything: You'd think a girl with this degree of stereotyping would like pain. TIP: She don't. teh dingdong hits her sphincter like a sac of Aladdin VHS tapes, then it's ADIOS DOLLARINOS.
Another incident where some introductory pornstar is left with a smoking O-ring cause she failed to follow the #1 rule of dancing the B-hole Boogaloo: Grease keeps the peace. Member that, and you'll always be 'aight.
Everybody is born with a talent. His is the ability to persuade stubborn females into offering up the dribbling dangus with nothing more than a pocket full of Abe Lincolns, and a cordial "fuck you". Original video HERE.
Buttsex is buttsex, I don't discriminate. But I bet you 5 buckaroos that this scallywag had no idea there was an upside to it. I can literally see her slowly transforming from :| to :D with every uppercut to the pancreas.
Not since spending $25 on Baconators have I linked redheads with this much rectal damage. I dig it tho... she kept some integrity between meat grindings. Know who can't do that? This Ginger. Fap accordingly.
Around 1:12 she drops that gem of a line. Listen lady: If you think struggling to catch your breath while a man plunders your shit basket for blood diamonds is amazing, I need to know how you celebrate Hanukkah.
Three years of forcing porn producers to scotch guard everything in a 2 mile radius was no problem. But 60 secs of churning butt butter? Game fuckin over. Ladies and gents: I present you the enigma of Asian whores.
From this angle it looks like dude is having sex with an eggplant. But after hearing this chunker bitch up more of a storm than a black woman getting short changed at Golden Corral, I have been convinced otherwise.
No pornstar name reflects the woman quite like Bonnie Rotten's. In less than 2 years time her asshole has seen so much abuse it's been reduced to a turkey wattle. And that's not even the most offensive part...
This starts off as a painal video, but like me during a Michael Bay movie, that lasts about 8 secs. From then on, it's all pleasure. And by pleasure I mean buttgasms so intensified, Ellen DeGeneres would pop a boner.
He bum rushes, she leaps away: a move this pro saw comin. He returns fire with a full-body thrust & hits the bottom of her gas tank. Reality sets in at 2:38 when she realizes she won the battle, but lost the war HAHA
Corners were definitely cut during this ones downward spiral. Turns out Jiffy Lube isn't the optimal location to acquire discounted body modifications. But before the mutation, there was this scene. Let us all reminisce.
This is all but guaranteed to eradicate any story you may have been led to believe about the orifice less traveled. Don't be misled by this man's apathy: Your love of hunting the backyard snapper dies here & now.
She's not exactly equipped with the rectal capacity of Richard Simmons, but the real deal breaker is bitching in broken English. Very reminiscent of a reoccurring dream I keep having involving Sofia Vergara and a billy goat.
I really don't know shit about otaku culture, other than it being the default jack-off material for all overweight people named Leonard and/or Stuart. But go with me anyway: This is the best hate boner you'll get all hour.
Cornholing: It's the make-or-break moment in a girl's relationship. There's always fear, but with optimism like "relax", and "you thinking bout it 2 much" our homeboy Octavious turns out to be the Bob Ross of mud gloving.