Turns out those 'female respondents only 'ads on Craigslist yield interesting results. Specifically in the "bobbing for Alabama crab apples" department.
How to make ur $50 porn vid 100x better? Do a shot of her crinkled starfish before and after sinking the dirty submarine. That's what people really want to see. A sliding scale of damage that FEMA might have to be called in for.
Schizoid games a Tinder.com soft-6 with an afternoon of bumper cars and Red Lobster... only to slip a couple of Oxycontin in her Admiral's Feast. The end result? 100% unadulterated, unfiltered autism around the 9:30 mark.
Another incident where some introductory pornstar is left with a smoking O-ring because she failed to follow the #1 rule of dancing the B-hole Boogaloo: "Grease Keeps the Peace" member that, & you'll always be 'aight.
Sorry hungry pedestrians living below the poverty line. Her sexual desires > your iced coolatta. Could someone please email me the news story when she gets caught pissing into the cappuccino machine? I'd appreciate it.
I said it once, I'll say it again: sweet fuckin Mr. Bean, not even a Vietnamese plastic surgeon could Ctrl+Alt+Del the Clydesdale from this face. Decent body though. I shall dub u " fugliest ho i'd still go down on ". Run with that.
Desperate for fame and isn't afraid of lying on her resume. If these aren't the quintessential ingredients to be Nacho Vidal's next penis ornament, I don't know what is. Now save up those Pesos and fly the U.S and A. kthx.
Her body language alone made the P-to-B transaction less probable than Bob Barker headlining UFC 215. Best she sticks to stuff she's good at. Like shopping at Warby Parker & picketing Chipotle. 'straight to A' isnt her thing.
This is classic. She literally goes from chowing down her own buttmud like a malnourished Nigerian, to straight up protesting a facial. Apparently the Woodman School of Rectology isn't as diverse as originally thought, HAHA.
Russia: Some go for the stroganoff. Others go to stir up enough friction to earn a campfire badge. This guy does both. 1st he loads up on Leninade, then he hits that dirty squirrel like life depends on it. A role model, if u will.
Shame this girl doesn't make videos anymore. A damn crying shame. Never again will we see this level of excitement when it comes to colonizing the brown planet. Today's fap will be followed by a moment of silence. RIP.
Average Joes aren't the only ones facing resistance when trying to smash the cadburys. Semi-pro pornstars have occupational hazards too. ah well. As long as human toilet paper isn't on the menu, German girls are still bae.
Contrary to appearance, she didn't ask to speak to his manager after serving the Booty-O's. But her tolerance is spent faster than an Asian man's pension in a casino, so dont fret: theres plenty to keep ur corn doggy hard.
11:30 for something this guy hasnt heard since talking about yesterday's lunch trip to Wendy's. She may have the body of a disfigured cleaning lady, but both holes are tight & the mind is wide open. Good enuff for moi.
Nice tech, but not for beginners. Chances are your slim Jimmy will enter uncharted territories & come out looking like something from Creature from the Brown Lagoon. or Lionel Richie. Choose your own horror story.
A good boyfriend always greases the scud duck with essential oils from Jarkata prior to admittance. Then there's this alpha bastard... who treats his cock like a great white shark on feeding day. Way to kill the trend.
Olive oil hair gel, tit jewelry, all-gold-everything: You'd think a girl with this degree of stereotyping would like pain. TIP: She don't. teh dingdong hits her sphincter like a sac of Aladdin VHS tapes, then it's ADIOS DOLLARINOS.
Buttsex is buttsex, I don't discriminate. But I bet you 5 buckaroos that this scallywag had no idea there was an upside to it. I can literally see her slowly transforming from :| to :D with every uppercut to the pancreas.
From this angle it looks like dude is having sex with an eggplant. But after hearing this chunker bitch up more of a storm than a black woman getting short changed at Golden Corral, I have been convinced otherwise.
He bum rushes, she leaps away: a move this pro saw comin. He returns fire with a full-body thrust & hits the bottom of her gas tank. Reality sets in at 2:38 when she realizes she won the battle, but lost the war HAHA
Shit lady, as much as I loved your stunt double work in Hatchet, I could've lived without seeing you contract a case of vaginitis. Damn near inverted my piss weasel.
This is all but guaranteed to eradicate any story you may have been led to believe about the orifice less traveled. Don't be misled by this man's apathy: Your love of hunting the backyard snapper dies here & now.
She's not exactly equipped with the rectal capacity of Richard Simmons, but the real deal breaker is bitching in broken English. Very reminiscent of a reoccurring dream I keep having involving Sofia Vergara and a billy goat.
Cornholing: It's the make-or-break moment in a girl's relationship. There's always fear, but with optimism like "relax", and "you thinking bout it 2 much" our homeboy Octavious turns out to be the Bob Ross of mud gloving.
